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A friend of mine(he is a white German male friend but not a boy friend and I am an Asian woman) invited me for his family Chrisrmas dinner.I have met them only once when his mother"s birthday.When I entered no one remembered my name at all so they just say "Hi"but well yes at least said hello to me.I sat at the table.But suddenly his unt said we all have to put shoes on.Even though I did not know why I did becsuse she said all.Then when I came back the room we all must go out to balcony to take a photo.And pointed me and said"Oh not you.Can stay inside and take a photo of out family please".I just arrived and there was no small talk at all.First thing she said was taking the photo of them.I lived in Australia for 12 years and was invited so many times by my family and it was first time I was really treated "Stranger".And his mother..She called me to kitchen I thought she wanted to give me somethibg.But she asked me to help her while she let her son do completely nothing.And when I came back to the table after this little help everyone already started eating and at my seat no plate.What????????And there were 9 people.No one talked to me at all until finish dinner.I feel so not welcomed and their Angst amd disrespect that "She is an poor Asian woman who approaches to get a German man to ger a Passport and we can use her as a maid even though she is a guest.Because she is an Asian woman".This was such a unpleasant time I ever experienced.I even don't know why they invited me in the fiirst place.My story might not be perfectly suitable why I hate Berlin.But this rude family who made me to belive AGAIN that how this Berliners or Germans are ignorant,not willing to know Non German people by decent communucation and just strerotyping. Worst Chrsitmas in my entire life.
I feel bad saying this, but you’re as trash as them the moment you accept the invitation. What do you expect, for them to embrace the difference and accept you? Are you so much in void to get as low as trying to integrate to that scum societies and their wretched norms? I feel no emphaty for anyone who try hard being a German.
Do not let this to bring you down, take it as "business as usual". I would have been surprised otherwise. I strongly recommend to have an escape plan, Australia does not sound bad at all. Be strong and plan your escape, it will be soon a far far away memory, that event should NOT define you in any shape or form. Good luck!!!
Well, shame on them. But don’t worry, those people are miserable inside, don’t even bother to be angry towards them. The greatest punishment for them is to live like that and behave hostile and hateful to others because they suffer and are probably traumatised deep down inside. No healthy individual behaves like that.
Thank you for all the kind comment.This year was my first Christmas without family and he was a not that bad German.So I expected the family dinner would be the same which I have had with my own family or other families in Australia.And it was a Christmas dinner I expected people behave better.Even the penners on the street gets more money during this season.Well it might be only his family but in ge ral while German do travels a lot.They always have this idea all Asians are poor,German passpprt chasers, not cultured and not educated.
And they always show it while saying "We are honesr and direct".I really don't understand why they invited me.I would have said No if I knew them so rude like that.Once again thank you so much for the kind and comfort comments it really made me feel better..I wish you all had nice Christmas time and happy new year.I stay in Berlin until end of March.My contract witn my job ans Wohnung end by that time.This site saved my life in Berlin.It was really good to know I am not the only one this city is full of unhealthy minded people.
Avoid groups of Germans when possible. They're are clique-ish and pretty much never interact with newcomers. 1 on 1 they can be ok, but never in a group. Also avoid older Germans, they are just weird. It's impossible to navigate their labyrinth of social norms so don't even bother trying.
Why come to Germany expecting people to act like the, do in Australia because people have the same skin color. German and Australian culture is totally different. Culture ans skin color are not the same thing. Which is why all the white Brits and Yankies on here are pissed off at Germans. Well people, they did fight on the other side during ww1 and 2. Maybe you should go somewhere else?
^A ridiculous strawman comment and a sad attempt to justify. True the two cultures are different, but that does not excuse the kind of poor behaviour from Germans that we've all come to know and NOT love. Unfortunately some foreigners don't have the option to leave this awful place (and country), but I think most who are able to will end up doing so at some point and don't need encouraging from Germans who secretly (?) hate our guts.
Let's do a small survey. What did you make you move to Berlin in the first place? When did you first realise that you made a mistake? Where would you go/where are you going next? I'll go first. 1) a shiny and well paid job and a change after all this Brexit madness (I lived in the UK for a long time 2) convoluted and stupid burocracy, rudness/blatant racidm and another level of "being a hipster" 3) anywhere else. First back home to recharge then UK or Ireland. You, guys?
Stupid choice. Came here for a weekend trip, had a great time. Then my job in the UK start feeling shaky. When I got a job offer here, felt natural. Then poop hit the vent: The job was a joke with people that were grumpy and nasty, left it quite quick. Then all this struggle with a place to live, and people in general everywhere. Felt like a mistake from the first days, to be honest, but I was still “OK, it’s a change, it’s normal”. Changed jobs, found a flat, things got steady, but... the people still shit. No friends, no connections, nothing... only assholery. Got burned at my last job, by people, by everything. Still I am lucky to have found another job quite well paid for this city, so I plan to live in a bubble until I make the real plot on how to get rid of this place. For now, I am too depressed and exhausted by all. Need to get a bit better and then off I go. One more year, maximum.
1. Thought I could have more and better chances at landing a good job. I finished my studies in German at a German university, so I thought it should be easy to find adequate employment. Big mistake.
2. Into the first year, after realizing that I was chronically broke. So much, that eating out was out of the question. It got so bad I almost considered requesting welfare. Thank God that didn't work out. To this day I'm glad I never got that sort of help. I guess it would have been more endurable if I had met good people, but most Germans I've met (not just Berliners) are trash.
3. Now I'm living in a Slavic country. I have a good job, a good salary and I've met great people here.
To this day I get pissed off when someone claims to like Berlin. That city is to me what New York City is for Homer Simpson.
1. Job
2. The blockhead german mentality, the hostile people and the overall feeling of stagnation within that city. A, and racism once in a while.
3. Moved to another german city. Much better overall but still I wouldn’t call it a good life, unfortunately bc. of number 2.1 again.
1)My husband's job. 2) Realized I may have mad a mistake about 2 years in when I still wasn't working, and the nostalgia of the all night clubs wore off. Also the amount of hostility I'd encountered was becoming too frequent to ignore. I won't say the ridiculous bureaucracy because I believe it would be like that anyway where you're not a citizen. 3) Undecided as to where to go next. Considering Serbia, Hungary, or Portugal? maybe we'll head to Bali for a few months first to cleanse our souls.
Thank you for so many replies, each of them made me feel a bit less lonely and a bit more sane, thank you. I wish you all the best and to be able to leave this city as soon as possible. Having lived in the UK most of my working life, I found Berlin and Germany a real shamble when it comes to the simplest things (bureaucracy is a joke and digitalisation in the public administration is so beyond even in comparison to countries that Germans consider "less developed" (read Southern Europe).
Merry Christmas to everyone.
It can be quite tough to go through holidays, ending another year of struggles and heavy hearts. Hang in there!
I wish everyone strength, peace of mind and all the best there can be in this filth ridden city.
If you need a break, maybe just for a couple hours, go to Potsdam. There's a nice big park there, it has a village vibe and the people are polite.
And it's a real park, too, with large meadows and beautiful landscaping. Nothing like the "parks" in Berlin that are just worn down fields that are soon to turn to dirt and mud but nontheless full of nudists (exhibitionist German men) and unkempt underbrush full of nasty Germans pissing in public and pooping in public. And don't forget the drug dealers and gypsy beggars and kurva Polish drunks. None of that garbage is common in Potsdam.
Nevertheless, Potsdam, Munich, Frankfurt or fuckthemmama village I'm this fooking country. This shyathole is poison. No matter where. If a female reproductive organ is fishy the whole female dog is fishy. Easy as that. I poop and semen on the idiot Nazi potsdam
I was walking home from work earlier this week and saw some guy, probably about 40-50, leave his apartment building and walk into the small flower bed in front of it and pull down his pants to take a dump. What is wrong with these people?
I have lived in Berlin for less than a year and I can proudly say that I have managed to avoid taking the U-Bahn for the past 8 months. S-Bahn is at least more decent.
Check all the other "hated cities" in citihater.com. Berlin is the only one that has daily posts, there must be a strong reason for that, right? I am glad there are so many fellow likeminded people who are able to judge this city for what it really is.
Communist nostalgia is the plague of this city. I still cannot believe how many people are nostalgic of Berlin's communist past. This city is broken beyond repair. Run.
Flakes, flakes, flakes....and more flakes.
Accidentally found myself in Wedding yesterday. Filthy, rotten place. Ghetto. Disgusting.
Thank you for having created a place where common sense and objective views on Berlin are shared. You really feel an outsider when everyone around you think that this city is amazing and you regret the choice you made, meaning moving here. Thank you guys, keep up the great work!
I have experienced some mobbing (read pure bullying) at the workplace that I have never seen in other countries (UK, for example). I have escaped the situation quite quickly, but then I have learned that it is quite normal in Berlin and in Germany as a whole to "bring the employee to resign". Once again this is exactly what Germany is. They tell you that tenants and employees have lots of rights in front of the law, but then effectively you have no chance to fight off some illegal situations. It is a farce.
I have experienced some mobbing (read pure bullying) at the workplace that I have never seen in other countries (UK, for example). I have escaped the situation quite quickly, but then I have learned that it is quite normal in Berlin and in Germany as a whole to "bring the employee to resign". Once again this is exactly what Germany is. They tell you that tenants and employees have lots of rights in front of the law, but then effectively you have no chance to fight off some illegal situations. It is a farce.
Berlin wears the "liberal mask", but it is a disgrace when it comes to being racist on all fronts. I have witnessed so many horrible situations where being non White Caucasian and non German subjected people to despicable treatment. As a White Caucasian, I will never fully experienced that, but I am still shocked by the level of racism I see every day in this country.