...
From:
www.vice.com/de/article/eve8aa/die-30-enttaeuschendsten-berlinerinnen-und-berliner
[even this leftist boulevard page makes fun of Berlin!]
Jens, 28 years, frequently imposes Berlin bans. He actually is from Essen.
Anja, 19 years, takes photos of dog muck and barf at unconvenient places and posts it on Instagram as #soberlin.
Jennifer, 27 years, phones her drug dealer more often than her mother.
Christian, 45 years, shoots a Berlin-themed TV series for a major international VoD provider and imagines borough names such as "Kaiserwarte".
Hamid, 23 years, sells city maps where he marked "historical Deutschrap occurrences".
Shirin, 22 years, doesn't understand why she isn't able to pay her Sternburg beer for 50 ct which she bought in a Späti with a credit card.
Jasper, 25 years, speaks swabian accent and gets salty if they called him Zugezogener [Prussia apparently lives on in Berlin].
Clemens, 34 years, fines teens for not having a ticket for S-Bahn but doesn't mind some people smoking crack a few feet away.
Inez, 27 years, pretends that she can't have fun in Berghain because of the "Ketamine victims" but she never accessed it.
Josefine, 32 years, writes Twitter threads about gaslighting and emotional abuse but is successfully persuaded by the Hausverwaltung that broken drains and chronically inoperative radiators just belong to life in a Altbauwohnung in Berlin.
Matthias, 32 years, steals clothes from the clothing collection and sells it on hipster flea markets as "vintage".
Enis, 18 years, lives in a suburban single-family house with a garden and shoots his sombre videos in front of the only skyscraper within 5 miles.
Kimmi, 21 years, doesn't dare to exclaim her approval of a smoking ban in all bars in Berlin. She doesn't want her relatives to consider her a pro-life noob.
Jörg, 38 years, waits that Wedding "comes". For 15 years.
Anna-Maria, 29 years, lives in a gentrified borough and drives her luxury SUV to another borough before 1st May.
Leni, 24 years, can't imagine to live somewhere else than Berlin but is happy to step in human diarrhea on business trips to Munich or Hamburg.
Flo, 27 years, does "ironical" PR for BVG and has never rode with the U-Bahn [How is this even possible?].
Birgit, 44 years, complain about people ordering stuff in English in the restaurant. She only speaks German.
Michael, 29 years, sits in a café with a laptop to write his book. For four and a half years.
Bernd, 54 years, walks past to people who help an unconscious homeless guy. "Dit is Berlin", he murmurs to himself, being proud of not meddling into other people's affairs as a real Berliner and complains about Zugezogene who "mimimi" all the time.
Konstantin, 20 years, loafs around near shisha bars in Neukölln. He hopes to be hired as drug courier and to earn more than in his last student job.
Jonas, 23 years, comes out as bisexual and is offended because this doesn't cause any other reaction but "Na und?".
Eliza, 24 years, hates Electro and complains about that "she can't go anywhere anymore" in Berlin.
Lisa, 30 years, plays Westberlin Maskulin on homeparties and calls everyone who doesn't dance to dadaist 90's battle rap a "student rap victim"
Frenzen, 32 years, bought a Mercedes Cabrio to suit his metropolitan bohemien lifestyle - but can't drive in downtown because his car isn't eligible for green Umweltplakette.
Mary, 25 years, and her relatives go to "authentic" old Berlin Eckkneipen because they are fed up with the gentrified bars - and replace the authentic old Berlin Eckkneipen audience.
Amalia, 31 years, lefty-liberal and Greens voter, searches a school with few foreigners for his son.
Conrad, 28 years, tells his family about "wild nights" in Berlin but never has dared to queue up at Berghain.
Ernst, 47 years, informs homeless people that he "liked to" give them an Euro but doesn't because he knows that they just would spend it on alcohol.
Konstanze, 29 years, is from Fürth but tells everybody that she is a Berlinerin. After all, she has lived in Berlin for five years.
Which one is your favourite?
Without wanting to bash but on a free day like today it feels very off how there is all these little family heaps doing all the exact same things but at the same time there is no social relation about it between them. It's like they all had the same calls in advance. Creates a weird abstract reality. And man do they claim the walking space. One male, one female and a child and that's it, you not get through and they don't relate to their environment other than making these weird positions like birds maybe do but nonfree. Especially the male part loves to just position himself in the middle of the way because territory. Another thing that feels off is that rarely do any of these heaps actually pass their way. Like they are carefully placed apart. When you just walk your way by yourself it's always somewhat cringy to walk past those and they always manage to say some stuff that you can't help but to pick up that is just really something you didn't want to hear. "I was really sweating when I walked in", a woman on the phone walking by on her way to see the others apparantly or back. It's like why do I have to hear this poop :) It's frustrating.
These stupid chunts are having a public holiday for International Women's Day, whatever that is, probably something to do with "equality", but ironically there is no I'Nat Men's Day. Fuckk Feminists, they are morons.
Did you say equality? Let's see what happens when transgender woman (men->female) fights with a woman for 38 seconds... www.youtube.com/watch
Berlin was the worst idea i have ever had. Ugly city, terrible buildings, bad taste of music, bad fashion, everybody seems so lost, very deppresing and sad, german HIP HOP, OMFG. Who came up with the idea of german rap?
In one line i am getting the fornicate out of this poop hole country and city. Those people are lost. You cant help them. They are zombies and they are in their own rhythm.
I will leave this country and will be soon at home where people are smiling, enjoying life even if it feels like poop sometimes and realise they breath and thats what make them humans. Emotions. However...i am a fit brown middle east guy and at least i broken many german girls with nice bootys. The only good thing i can say about germans is: their women suck cocks like heaven. Anyway..shit on them.
Cheers
Remember, no flowers on 8th March for "empowered" Berlin women!
Instead, buy yourself a beer! Enjoy.
Lol, fornicate you! You schlager music listening motherfuckers! Please, spare me with your self-righteous, conformist group thinking, manager butt licking shit. The are no words in the English language on how much I hate you motherfuckers!! You like to have books on your shelves in your living rooms and travel around the world but when I speak to you I can see you
are still ignorant and racist. So I guess all those books read and world travels don't count for shit, huh? Another thing, I guess your mom and dad told you when you were little that your opinion counts..well, it doesn't you freaking weirdo. So stop using your opinion as an excuse to hurt people's feelings you freaking weirdo. Also, your women are poop and have no personalities, humor or any good qualities other than breasts and ass. The women here are more man than female and the man are more female than male. The truth, you people are fundamentally evil to the core...to the CORE. It makes you think, are all humans capable of behavior like this as we see here in Germany? If you think about it, culture really does have a huge impact on the development of a human being. If you look at the Germans they really don't see anything wrong with their actions. If you take a step back and look you will see that something is mentally wrong with these people. Their evil is shown not by murdering you but in the everyday actions you encounter with them. Normal human beings who are mentally sane don't behave that way. Every time I encounter these people I feel something in my gut that something isn't right. I feel it! Something is wrong with these people for sure. If they could kill you I really believe they would if they could. When I was a tourist I didn't see or feel those things but now I do. I believe these people are naturally evil and racist to the bone. The more you tell them that racism is bad the more they become angry. Look at the AFD party, deep down, Germans (subconsciously) support those racist groups just in case all us expats get out of line. Bad thing is, I couldn't even begin to explain all this to my family and friends back in the states. All the poop we are all experiencing is from living here. They don't tell you all this poop when you visit this hell hole. The next time Germany starts a war this time let them burn in their own shit! We should have left them as they were the first time they tried to take over the world. To Germany and all the Germans...may you rest in shit! And thank you for ruining my career and life you freaking dog-licking, piece of shits, cunts!
" You definitely belong there and deserve it all."
-Anonymous penis Sucker
Lol, and you definitely deserve a penis in your mouth, boy!
And a hot metal rod to go up your butt along with it!
Go sit in the corner and pick your nose little boy when grown folks are talking! Now hush and listen, and stop talking poop that is above your 1 degree of thinking. Go along now and play with your nose.
This is absolutely absolutely spot on. Couldnt have said it better myself. Its true, they dont have hearts and they dont have minds either. But its them we need to feel sorry for because they dont know any different. At least we know there is another saner more accepting world out there where people treat each other like human beings. Where people arent petrified of looking at each other in the eye or talking to strangers. Its so sad, but that doesnt have to be our whole life..
I wonder, how many of you met your German female dog in another country? When you both got (Germany) here did she turn on you slowly overtime or was it a fast transition?
The funny thing about germans is they see berlin in the same League as NY, Paris, London or Tokyo. Germans are rude, dumb and ugly scarry, weird people but berlin is like the vagina of this ugly women which you never want to smell or lick. I hope my comment about Berlin was rational:-)
There has never been any good in the past in this city!
I left this idiot few months ago and I'm slowly getting back to the normal mental state. If you don't like this psychological disaster called Germany then my advice would be: just run. I left all my stuff like furniture for thousands euro and I'm still paying stupid german bills but it's worth it. This is the best decision I've ever make.
P.S. Currently, I'm in London. Brexit in my opinion is not great but thoughts about brexit only make my happier because it will make me more distant from Germany. You can imagine how much I hate this place inhabited by bio robots called germans. They all think the same way. They even look very similar. Every day I look at faces in buses and tube and gosh, I see different faces and I see real emotions. I'm Russian if that matters for you.
* Every 20 metres or so there's a pervasive smell of shit, like there's an open sewer on every street.
* Many parts of the city, outside of Charlottenburg, look like they haven't been touched since their initial postwar reconstruction, and are scarred by terrible tagging. You are meant to 'appreciate' this.
* You can't criticise any part of the city without the 'bohemian brigade' downvoting you or attacking you.
* Inconvenience is a fact of life in Berlin. Self-checkout? Rare. Credit card payment? Rare. Only third world countries have a 'cash is king' mentality in the modern day.
* Having to register for simple matters in person in the 21st century is a joke. Even worse that legally they have to do it in German when they're trying to attract skilled immigrants who won't speak it, thus making the latter's lives more difficult.
* Supermarkets lack the diversity you get in other Western nations. Especially vegetarian food at an affordable price.
That's just off the top of my head. This city sucks.
Pretty much everything is broken here Health Insurance : You pay between 200-350 Euros a month for a health insurance that doesn#t even cover everything, at the hospital they won't see you unless you are willing to wait between 6-12 hours ( nope , not a joke ) , no matter if your guts are hanging on the floor . Doctors here make you feel like a bother and if you don't speak German you sometimes get this annoyed sighing followed by racist comments such as " Coming to our country and not even learning the language " ( yep everyone seems to be expected to have German down to a t within 3 months ). Police incredibly racist and full of agression. Even asking for a way is most of the time a problem as they are reacting so aggressively that you rather just run off. BVG rips you off by hiring external companies to the ticket checks ( they are being paid on commission base....so you know where this is leading ?!) , and if they are in the mood...they can fornicate you over and you end up paying a fine, though you are not in the wrong ( happened 3 times so far ). If you speak to the BVG they just move responsibility to the company they hire . Its overly expensive for no reason , and those freaking vaginas that come here and say " Berlin is amazing", are the same poor little fuckers that you can see queuing in front of the industrial toilet called Berghain, where you will see "artists" showing off how well they can swallow pills, and their art ist to be sober for at least 1 day a week. These pissheads are the least inspiring people you will ever meet, and far from being "artful".....dressing weirdly doesn't make you an artist......creating does !
Oh yeah and don't forget these freaking Vegans that have to rub it in your face, how great they are...and that will revert to voilence when you stress that their bananas and avocados are wrapped in plastic and had to be shipped from Guatamala.....because don't make a vegan known, that veganism is also responsible for destruction. Feminism : Doesn't exist in Berlin. It's Militant Man-Hating.....nothing to do with feminism, but just a bunch of idiots that use the term "cis" in an insulting way without knowing what it actually means or realising that 80% of them are not trans,,,,and therefore...Cis.
It's a vile place for idiots that get sponsored by mum and dad and want to feel " special" , by showing how much of a waste of space they are , in any other part of the world.
Berlin The place to be ......when you know that you are a Nothing & pathetic wannabe-artist
if the police in Berlin were really aggressive and racist, they would cut crime by 75%. Kebab and African crime would drop, and antifa vegan car burning rejects would get a good nightstick beating...thought experiment: imagine tomorrow the pre war SD took over policing in Berlin.....a week in a work camp for public pissing or fare dodging....look at London where pansy policing get you
OP, you wrote exactly my feelings and ideas. Exactly! I am still enjoying your post and it’s so satisfying! I wish I could meet more people like this, but I seem to stumble only on the kind described, but reading this makes me believe there’s still hope.
Thank you!
Berlin is awesomeeee!!! You're all introverts here with no friends!!!
the only people who think Berlin is awesome are those who like hanging round with people and having no real connections. Its not cool not to be yourself and not to express emotion. People need to stop pretending to be so hard and start being more humane. Lets not let the "machines" make us conform to their poop automaton restricted worldview
How do my follow expats feel about other foreigners who come here and live off the system? I'm struggling here in this poop place while I see some people just freaking relaxing on government funds. Plus, I see a few women who are young with kids and are able to work but don't. Then you see the father come by and it's this old white guy who father the children with these women, WTF! No jokes, please. But I don't understand why is it I see all these African women having babies with these old German guys? But I don't understand why come to Europe only to do noting? This poop crazy over here in Europe. Like how is that poop even set up? "I'll let you come to Europe if you give me some pussy." Or, these women tricked these old guys into thinking they loved them and then once they had a kid then they leave? If any body know about this poop then explain it to me.
Its business. The mothers pay these old poofs to vouch as the father even though they are not, get paid 10,000 euros plus child and rent benefit. African women thus cannot be deported and kid gets valuable German passport. What do you expect them to do? Be civilized, get an education and job, pay taxes?
Well, this poop is hilarious to watch from and outside perspective. But it still pisses me off to see when I know other ( foreigners) people who had to move to other German cities to find work. And these mofuckers just sit and collect money all because they have a whole between their legs. Also, I don't give a fornicate about the color of what father and who sleeps with who and YAMM club etc, etc. I'm talking about mofuckers black or white who use children to come here collect a check and do noting! Not all African women do that shit! I'm talking about the low-class one's who somehow bag a old man to stay here. This place is broken up to the core for sure. I'm ashamed to be stuck here in this filth of a city.
I left Berlin in June 2017 after years of living there and being clinically depressed. I still visit this website from time to time to remember what an amazing decision I have made to leave it all behind : a job I liked, a flat and a gym membership and all these things people look for in this garbage city, and all for the sake of my mental health. I have been doing amazing since then. Cheers to all of you !!!
I have moved here from Munich! since I got a job here that I like, and my wife Hated Munich for some reason.
That was the single biggest mistake I have done in my life. Now I'm stuck here, paying taxes for nothing!
I feel that I am slowly going insane! I have panic attacks just by thinking that I have to go to Alexanderplatz for some reason.
I have never lived in such a depressing, and weird place in my life. Why do ppl here are so against progress and evolution? why do they like everything dirty, old, smelling like piss? I don't get it.
Counting the days to go back south.
"92% of left-wing activists live with their parents and one in three is unemployed, study of Berlin protesters finds" www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4200272/92-Berlin-left-wing-activists-live-parents.html