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Become a Berliner 101:
-Lose your job (provided you ever had one to begin with)
-Get tunnels, or one earring to display how original and individual you are. If you are a woman, a nose ring is non-negotiable.
-Abandon heterosexuality and go bi, homosexual or metrosexual.
-Spend your Hartz-IV money on drugs. Preferably cheap, awful beer like Berliner Pilsener, and weed.
-Complain about everything. Yell at the sky when it rains or it gets cloudy.
-Pretend you're a techno DJ
-Get a tattoo. Preferably as many as you can afford.
-Hate foreigners, Germany, Christianity, yourself
-Buy a (green) parka
-Claim grafitti makes a city look beautiful
-Miss no chance to hate on America and Americans, while at the same time you annoy people with your stories from the time you were in New York.
-Use as many anglicisms as you can. Maybe people won't notice your poor grasp of English.
-Eat falafel, shawarma and other middle Eastern dishes so that you'll have enough energy to protest against refugees.
-Post "refugees welcome" stuff on Facebook all the time while at the same time complaining about Islam.
-Be vegan, drink club mate, be a feminist.
-Avoid normal, traditional dating. Be in an open relationship.
-Be proud of being a cuckold.
-Whether you're riding your bike, or driving around the city, be as aggressive as you can.
It's true. When you leave Friedrichshain/Kreuzköln/Prenzlauer/Wedding and enter the REAL Berlin Bezirke you meet people that do not fit into all of those descriptions above. A lot of people who live in Zehlendorf, for example, don't have tunnels and are not LGB or T.
Well at least you won't find any of the above mentioned there and btw there are a lot of expat families in Zehlendorf who move there because of good quality of live (lakes, parks, excellent bilingual schools such as JFK, good healthcare with the best doctors living in the Southwest of the city). But like I said, if you enjoy living in party/ drug hellhole Friedrichshain/"Kreuzkölln", then it's your choice. Enjoy your little bubble :-)
Kreuzberg has become as expansive as Mitte and other wealthy districts by the way, so if you can afford renting an apartment there or in the nicer areas of Neukölln or Friedrichshain, the financial outlook doesn't look more positive for newly arrivals than in the traditionally wealthier districts. Except of course you can enjoy the party/drug scene there, which you seem to loath at the same time. A bit contradictory, don't you think?
west berlin is pretty exclusivist, if you can pay a rent that doesn't mean that you also get the place while competing with germans with steady jobs and reputations. At the beginning, people move to kreuzberg etc. because they want to live in an international vibrant environment not necessarily a party/drug scene, so I'm sure there is no desire to live in a suburbia (yes, I know there are altbaus in areas like friedenau,steglitz -but it really feels like it). Berlin is indeed contradictory, that's what a lot of expats also found out after a while and that's what this discussion is about.
I lived in Koepenick, Prenzlauer Berg, Potsdam, Wilmersdorf, Dahlem and on the border of Maerkesches Viertel. Although there are slight differences between the areas, the lack of customer service and friendliness of the locals is pretty consistent throughout. Slightly different levels of coldness and indifference.
I'll never forget the first argument I had with my German/Berliner EX bf. We were peacefully watching a movie at home one night, he asked that I pause it so he may use the bathroom, so of course, I did. What happened next laid the foundation for our miserable 7yr relationship and thankfully Divorce.
As I pressed the Pause button, he flew into a RAGE. "Why did you press the button so hard?! Dont ever do that!! Remotes are expensive and pressing their buttons too hard wears them out faster, I dont work as hard as i do to search for this SPECIFIC remote! (*Because you know...if its not German made...its not good enough.) Then he proceeded to go of on this childlike tangent that included insulting my Career...Family...Childhood and Nationality. Sound Familiar??
Lol only a German would get mad because someone pressed a button too hard. Reminds me of one German I lived with who got angry because of increased toilet paper use. I mean, a bag of toilet paper costs only 1.79! It's not like you'll be poor if you buy two extra bags a month.
Either way...
First mistake: Dating a German man. Why did you do it? They usually smell bad, have mommy issues, sit down to pee, are bad in bed, not romantic, awkward and borderline autistic.
OP here, yeah he was a very toxic and negative person. Germans aren't happy unless they go through great lengths to make others feel inferior. He was such a loser. He lost a fantastic Job because he stole Cheese on a flight he worked. Because he was TOO CHEAP to buy food. Glad thats over!
Same thing with me, I had a German girlfriend who completely demolished my self esteem, it took me two years to get it back again after splitting with her. I thought I was useless and couldn't make any decisions for myself because of her constant criticisms. To many years wasted here, only 17 days to go, sorry to leave you all behind, but I've finally woken up. Don't try to find the magic key to understanding Berlin, there is no structure, no morals, no responsibility and no commitment etc etc etc etc.
What do you expect from a culture in which co-ed nudity in saunas and at every public "beach" is perfectly acceptable not just to some batshit fringe groups but to the masses? What do you expect from a society that doesn't adequately punish child molestation and public indecency? Expose yourself to a woman here (or a child for that matter) and you can expect absolutely no reaction from anyone. Is anyone surprised all of the men turn into avoidant babies and all of the women become controlling shrews?
Hole about this page changed its name to "germanhaters?" I bet the majority of people here never went to visit other German cities yet most claim to be experts for how Germans are, based on negative experiences in Berlin. Sorry, but that's pathetic and ignorant. Berlin is one of the poorest cities of the country. Many people are rude, many people are unfriendly, the weather sucks most of the time. Well-paid jobs are rare. Even most Berliners have at best a love-hate relationship with this city. Maybe you all should have made a bit more research on all that before moving to this over-hyped city. Warm regards from a Berliner who no longer lives here.
fornicate off, Hans. I lived in around 10 German cities and everywhere I went people were the same. Rude, unfriendly, ugly, smelly and primitive. So much for your so-called "superior race". I'm glad I no longer live in Germany. It's a country full of soulless robots. No wonder you have trouble integrating minorities. They don't really want to become like you.
Here's a killer tip: take a shower everyday. Stop smoking. Stop thinking your beer is the best (it really isn't). Stop doing the "Open relationship" thing. Don't be proud of being a cuckold. Stop being a vegan fagg0t. Treat people with respect, it doesn't make you seem weak in their eyes. Maybe one day you'll be a human being, Hans. In the mean time, enjoy your refugees xD
I actually lived in Brandenburg for a while. People there were genuinely a little friendlier. Specifically, I was offered rides to the closest bus station by random strangers when it was raining. But I'm 100% sure these people were racist as hell. Glad I'm white.
Remember, most Berliners are still carrying their brainwashed Commie-Think mentality and they've passed it down to their children. Has anyone here ever been asked to have a meal in a Berliner's home. They are still paranoid about being spied upon. We should feel sorry for them really.
Recently read a study comparing propensity for cheating at a game between east and west Germans. East Germans were much more likely to cheat than their western counterparts. Which isn't surprising when you stand in line with a bunch of these savages anywhere.
90% of scumbags in USA politics have German names.
I really dislike how everyone in Berlin is so xenophobic. It doesn't matter if you're from Turkey, the US, Poland, France, Vietnam, etc. - you will always be looked down upon. If you ever try bringing this up, every local will deny this and tell you that YOU ARE doing something WRONG (not following the rules, not learning German fast enough, etc.)
I have never met so many people with a superiority complex.
Sorry, but LA/NYC/Miami is already full of German tourists - the people who try so bad to be Americans, it's funny. Then you walk around Berlin, hear young Germans speaking english slang, listening to rap and trying to act all hood. Makes me laugh every time.
Euro hiphop sucks ass. It's either ungrateful wannabe tough guy MENA/African douchebags trying to sound tough, like they live in south side Chicago, and it all sounds the same, or hipster white dudes trying to prove how cool and edgy they are since US hiphop/trap is currently trendy until it's not in a year or two. And yeah, it's hypocritical af to on one hand constantly talk poop about the US and Americans and on the other adopt all of their trends like it's your own.
As soon as they have some vacation, germans flee to Spain and Italy because they find their own country boring. But then they have the nerv to look down on the people from those countries...
Yeah, I wonder where the German economy would be today if not for the massive cash injections from the US post-WW2.
Oh, I know - they would like eastern germany.
And yet, as you say, they find it in themselves to look down upon greeks, poles, spaniards, etc.
Hard work? Try gold fillings from Jews teeth and the cultural capital stolen from artists,scientists, intellectuals .(And anyone else) Stashed away in Swiss bank accounts.Pretty easy to rebuild a facade of country with this much stolen booty at your blister free hands.
I'm sure many would move to those countries in a heartbeat if their economies were in better shape. People keep immigrating to northern European countries, despite their lousy weather, food, and personalities, due to them having the best economies. The Euro has benefitted Germany and hurt southern Europe in that regard. Surprised the southern countries didn't try to do their own Brexit but I suppose they're hoping for the best in the long run. I wouldn't expect any compromise in that regard with the tight butt conservative party in power in Germany.
Typical German: passive aggressive, small minded, insecure, massive chip on their shoulder, humourless, unable to understand irony, no personality, boring, cheap, terrible social skills, low emotional intelligence, low empathy, prone to childish temper tantrums, prone to ad hominem or straw man attacks in debates or just repeating "sources?" Over and over like a robot gone haywire. Super collectivist, sheep like people who never think for themselves & are always thinking in one form of groupthink or another. They either tend to be deeply racist & prejudiced leftists who moralize at non-whites, gays etc (oh the poor dears, they need Fritz and Hans to defend them! They haven't got a brain of their own!) or deeply racist traditional Germans who just dislike/hate anyone not like themselves, but they also hate themselves & each other as well.
This is a really schizophrenic country, and Germans are very deeply psychologically disturbed people. I didn't come here at first having these views about Germans, but I am certainly leaving it with these views.
Oh God, I remember dealing with in-laws when I was still married. The worst was the spouse's brother. Typical Berlin trash. Too stupid, socially awkward and undisciplined to graduate from uni here, but thought the world of himself. Never had a girlfriend and had zero friends. Pale as a sheet, wore all black and looked angry all the time. Fingernails chewed past the quick, always picking his nose, digging in his crotch/ass and burping or farting without embarrassment. High-pitched laugh like a 13 year-old girl. Had something disparaging to say about every other country on earth.
P.S. Dear 1918 painting brain. You are aware that Germany cannot feed its own population with its own land space and exhausted resources..Good luck eating a plate of solar power. And you can forget that piece of "Lebensraum' next door that you still think is "yours". Everyone knows you are just itchin to get it. Those awful Russians would wipe you out. P.S. When the E.U. collapses and European nation states determine their own destinies..What are you going to eat Germany? A dodgy V.W, car?. Do you think Greece,Spain,or Portugal are gonna give you their fishing waters and abundant produce?. Revenge will be sweet indeed for the peoples of Europe who you have been draining like a leach. Anyhow..that is my rant for the day.
Germany will be one big Turnip patch shortly ..The worm has turned. Germany will be nothing more than the "Livingspace " for the rest of Europe. Like a large bit of garden plot for the rest of Europe..Maybe..If you are really lucky Greece will throw you a lifeline of fish heads to garnish your new Curry wurst cultural blandness.Brussels may even beat you for "Poor but Sexy".
Dear "Crap all over Italians,Spanards And East Europeans who went job hunting in Germany. Well..They can go back to their real FAMILIES AND CULTURE..Germany was just a job after all. And from my horrible experiences with the "German" concept of family you are broken up the ass.single mother..cutter daughter.Incest and a pretty crappy Christmas experience...God knows where grand mother is..in some hole some where. Good luck with your German family.
Oh here he is..Berlinhaters very own Casper David Friedric "Our Wanderer above the sea of fog" 1818. Thank you for your esoteric moral fiber. Now please go and inspect your morning bowl movement for a glimmer of original thought. Damn..only a piece of last nights bio corn. Anyway back up that mountain mate..and get mum to pack a sandwich for you for your brave hike up that virgin German nature. fornicate me..A heard of cows and slag heaps..and a duck!
Well good journey, to all those haters. We really need you here to make a change... but unfortunately you do not want to stay. It is so easy to see bad things. I am proud of our public safty, free press, leftist ideas in politics, the best democracy, best football, best beer, best bread, safe buildings, good health care, a great start up scene, many openminded people who are not proud of beeing german and do not love wars or walls or borders and nations. There are problems like drugs, dirt, more crime than in the rest of the nation but still nothing compared to other metropolitan areas of the world. Maybe the haters here did not manage to find the good people among those party people. You can give it a chance or give it up. Keep on running. While there a mostly americans writing here - i hate the american way of life to destroy nature, those dumb movies, your racist and nazi-groups, exploid the planet, make secret wars, destabilize other countries, invade other countries, exploid other countries under the flag of bringing justic or the insane american democracy. Get back, if you like that better.
your condescending way of talking shows perfectly your german nature. Always ready to say that they "know", they have the "best" things, they are the most "democratic". Not that I like the USA either, but at least there's plenty of people who don't take themselves too seriously and have some irony about their problems. Yes, we are mostly trying to leave the country. Hopefully all the immigrants will do, so your country can wither away and don't fornicate up the rest of europe like until now. If you thought you could enlighten anybody with your comment, you're in the wrong place mate.
racist and nazi-groups, exploid the planet, make secret wars, destabilize other countries, invade other countries, exploid other countries under the flag of bringing justic or the insane american democracy. Get back, if you like that better. "
>there is no freedom in Germany
>there is no free speech in Germany (go deny the Holocaust and see what happens)
>there is no democracy in Germany (allies knew you were too dumb for a direct democracy, so they forced upon you a constitution, as well as a retarded ruling system)
>free press is a joke in Germany.
>the best beer is Czech, you dumb Krautcuck
>good healthcare...lmao, your doctors may have fancy equipment. That doesn't make them good.
>Americans didn't kill six million Jews and caused two world wars that resulted in the deaths of millions of people. By the way, Fritz, realize that war is not something you're good at.
You German fagg*ts are just eternally butthurt at the fact that America is 1 million times the country you'll never be. Americans are basically what Germans wish they were, but can never become. Enjoy your refugees, Krautcuckold.
@FCKU2 your comment is exactly the typical german discourse that has been criticized on this forum: collectivist, nationalist, ( we have, we are), populistic( beer, football), humourless, and antiamerican (envy). And forget your left side, it's a joke - you may have hartz4, but you have racism built into your language and attitude (auslander=rauslander) - and no I'm not american, don't turn it into a simplistic us hater vd germans just because you can't imagine that english is the main language of communication for all nations at the moment.
I always lose it when Germans talk about freedom and democracy. I'm sorry, Hans, but a colony of the GOAT country, the USA, can never be a free country. Good luck buying guns, speaking your mind, homeschooling children, developing a personality of your own...good luck trying to be free.
Take it easy folks, this looks like a troll. Yes, people like this exist in Berlin, but I doubt they have the mental capacity to use the internet. Their english is too good (notice how germans don't capitalize words correctly and only use the simplest possible words and phrases), so nothing to see here, don't waste your energy replying to this pseudo-local.
Germans hate borders and walls? Good one. Ask virtually any East German about the wall and prepare to endure an hour of pinning ostalgia for the 1980's. Or do you mean the open borders to the surrounding first-world countries? And the thousands of kilometers of other EU countries which effectively buffered refugees until recently? Which is currently suspended along the Germany-Austria border.
Ahemmm, "Public Safety "????????????? You gotta be joking ???
" Free Press "?????????????? You gotta be joking ??
" Democracy "????????? You gotta be joking ??
and the best one "Open minded people " ????? Wow~:):):) i think , one of the things i truely learnt here ,,was that saying you are open minded , identifying to yourself and your social media site as being openminded ,hanging out with another bunch of goons who prop up the same lie ,al patting yourselves on the back at how incredibly openminded you are,inf act even the use of the word and the obsession with it ,shows how " unopenminded " the people here are , real openminded people ,probably dont even realise this is one of their traits ,they are too busy living a normal life ,and already have an identity ,so have no need to create one !!! It reminds me of that old Eminem song " i am whatever i say i am " ,only in truth ,no you are not whatever you say you are ,i could wear a Santa Claus hat all day long but that dont make me Santa ,people here believing if you say something enough it willl make it true ?? Nahhh ,sorry ,life doesnt work like that ,only children and underdeveloped adults believe they can shapeshift and be whatever they like the idea of ,in children its cute and funny,in an adult ,its sad ,pathetic ,disturbing and shows massive lack of personal growth and development Must say im not surprised by the delusion factor shown here tho ,iv grown to accept this self deception as the norm in Berlin !
You know whats funny?? Every single post i read here,says something ,i agree with and can relate with..thats interesting because in this city.the "groupthink"leaves you feeling 1000per cent isolated..yet when i read everything here,i see so many opinions ,from people i have never met,from countries i have never been to,and it makes me remember,that there are some normal,healthy,happy ,intelligent,balanced humans in this universe(thank god!!)...only not enough in Berlin!!:)
I was speaking to a Polish/Italian girl who was born & raised here. She is studying to be a lawyer and told me that in Germany, the higher positions in law, police, government, and so on, are all only for ethnic Germans. That for an immigrant it's almost impossible to be promoted to such positions, or to be given those opportunities. She said Germans want immigrants to just do low level jobs, and not aspire to be anything more than basically 2nd class citizens. She said that as a foreigner, someone without German citizenship and so on, I'm even 3rd class, and Germans will always see you that way. No matter how talented you are, no matter how smart you are, no matter how much you may want to "integrate", no matter what you have to offer to this country - it is not appreciated and in fact, they resent you for being better than them. This is the kind of thing you won't hear about from Germans, because they're either oblivious to it and/or in denial, and the silly western "expats" living their escapist fantasy lifestyle here are too stupid , unambitious and/or lack self-awareness to see it, the refugees and poor immigrants are too desperate to care, etc. So to have this kind of 'real' convo with someone-- you need to speak to someone born & raised here who isn't German and has a brain - they'll tell you the true colors of this city and country. Leaving this city in summer and I cannot wait to escape.
I have been living in Germany for almost a decade and I can confirm that what your acquaintance stated is true.
In typical passive-aggressive German fashion, they will let you immigrate and stay here, but they won't make it easy to become friends with them (unless you have something to offer, such as status increase or a nice place to stay at if they ever visit your country), nor allow you to get access to the better-paid jobs.
It takes a foreigner in the US less hard work to be succesful and for their children to belong to a better social status than in Germany. Germans like to talk about the "Bildungserfolg" (success in education) of Asians in Germany, yet I have NEVER seen an Asian person in a position of power or prestige. They usually work in their nail saloons or restaurants.
It's not about education either. You can have degrees from top universities from abroad or even from Germany and still, having the wrong name or the wrong looks will be detrimental to your wish of getting a good job.
This is not a country I'd want to raise children in, if I were a black or brown or Asian person. They'll be discriminated upon, mocked, laughed at and not because of how they behave, but because of their race. Even eastern Europeans have it hard, and they are "whiter" than Germans. Not to mention better-looking (especially the females).
That's not entirely true. There are also doctors, IT engineers, uni researchers, economists etc. with foreign background which don’t have a necessarily a voice. Unfortunately in the media you always get to hear about some auslander with low income, portrayed as second class citizens, because there are in the spotlight when some kind of bad things happen and also because the intention is to keep it that way. Someone said about law and government, I imagine it would be difficult in any country to get to have an important position where you don't have connections just your good diplomas.
This is the truth:
"No matter how talented you are, no matter how smart you are, no matter how much you may want to "integrate", no matter what you have to offer to this country - it is not appreciated and in fact, they resent you for being better than them"
A friend of mine got hit by the door a parked car, while cycling on a street with no bike lanes. The driver ( german,old ) didn’t check if the road was clear, so it was obviously his fault. After he apologized, he asked for the nr. and adress of my friend, to get back to her after the hospital visit, to check if she’s ok. Luckily it was only some minor hand injury. After a couple of days, she didn’t receive any phone calls, but a letter, where the costs of the car damage were listed, that she was urged to pay in x days. The guy took an opportunity to suck money out of the victim, because she didn’t look german and capable to handle a legal situation. Not a nice episode.
That's a horrible situation to get into. She needs to find an English speaking lawyer inexpensive lawyer to send him back a threatening legal letter.That's how you handle these soulless bureaucrats. Maybe she can start a go fund me and raise 100-200 euros to pay the lawyer.
No, she didn’t pay. Some acquaintance jumped in for help by sending a legal letter as a response pro bono. Unfortunately not everyone has acces to that. My point is that, of course, there are bad intentions everywhere, but people should please stop calling this city international!
Berlin..where smiling with a genuine reason..laughing from the heart,sharing true positive vibes that dont include a description about "you"...where being relaxed and carefree,all are forbidden qualities,which may result in you being hated,outcast,thrown aside,in a nutshell ,watch out when you feel happy ,relaxed,at ease here,for each of these crimes makes you an enemy of the state!!