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In reply to "BECOME A BERLINER 101" Below.
-Those nose rings make me want to puke.
-Man are those tunnel morons going to be sorry one day when they get sober and off drugs.
-I'm sure most of these arrogant Berliner bike riders would have been Naz-is for sure.
-Shawarmas, Don(g)ers and curry worst contain the worst possible meat imaginable, actually it's unimaginable. Why d you think so many people are vegan here, they're the smart ones.
-The big thing here is "open" relationships, in other words, people with no respect for themselves or others, no sense of commitment and wanting a quick escape route instead of working on making a relationship work, selfish and Childish.
-Hartz iv money is the opiate of the Berlin masses.
-Techno? Is that sheet still around, I thought it was dead and burst 20 years ago, oh, wait, that's the rest of the world.
-Graffiti? are you kidding me, that sheet is drug addicts having a flashback to kindergarten.
-They couldn't give a sheet about "refugees", it's all show. How many "refugees" do you think any of them have invited home for a meal.
-Tattoo mentality, say no more, the tatts say more than words about how stupid they are. With no thought for their future.
-Feminists marching for Muslim "refugees" who beat their wives, mutilate their daughter's vaginas, want sharia law to take away women's rights. They don't even see the hypocrisy. Feminists are the most stupid liberal CNNts of all. With their bullsheet about the wage-gap myth, that is the most dishonest use of stats I've ever seen.
-Cold, unfriendly communists, still living the un-glory days of the DDR.
-The filthy, self pride-less drug addicts around Kotti, all the filthy "homeless" a.k.a. alcoholics begging for drink money while they stink out the U8, one after the other.
Thousands of people scrounging for bottles to get a few cents to make ends meet, because of high insurance costs that are criminal.
The music scene is kind of weird but it really isn't better anywhere else at the moment imo, except maybe Iceland. Too many western countries following dumb American music trends, with artists trying to sing in the same fake southern/raspy American accent, or copying American hiphop/trap or edm. At least Berlin has its own thing going on (though some copy US trends, particular with hiphop).
Hiroshima and Nagasaki where the wrong targets.
Service is "Neuland"..not sure about you but have you ever experienced a restaurant in Berlin where the staff was friendly? Yesterday I went to yet another place and the waiters did not ask if I wanted anything else, did not seek eye contact, did not smile at all and just threw the plates on my table as if they just want to get over it. I was there in total only 1h with only 1 main dish; I think this was the shortest restaurant visit ever.
that's nothing. I dont care for eye contact or smiles. But I'd like at least to have my order taken. How about waiting like a fool and waving around to waiters/barman, but they are too busy joking with their colleagues or checking their phone? So when you call the m out on their siht, they run away somewhere else? Berlin: the only place in the WORLD where waiters and barman think they are doing something cool. Even a monkey could do your job. Get off your high horse you hipster cnut, and give me a fcuking white russian.
They probably use the excuse that people don't tip in Berlin, but a tip is not why you should be giving good service, you give good service because they are the people paying you wages, not your boss, without customers coming back, you're out of a job and back on Hartz iv, oh wait, that's probably the plan.
Walk into a bar, find table, sit down. Barman and waitress have not shown any glimmer that they have seen you. Peruse menu if it is on the table. Ten minutes pass. You look around for someone, they still have not registered your presence. You wave, they turn away, you wave more urgently and possible voice an Entschuldingung. They scowl and weave towards you, expressing all the body language of contempt. Thry take out their pad jot down your order, still no eye contact then turn and leave with no more than three words returned. 15 or 20 minutes later, drinks are dropped on the table. Repeat for second round.
"Get off your high horse you hipster cnut, and give me a fcuking white russian." You! I like you!
Best are the coffee shops though, lol! Like Einstein or Coffee Fellows at Alexanderplatz. Like, 1 measly piece of cake is 5 fcuking bucks. Seriously?? The barista always looks super unfriendly, mean and like she thinks she should have been a famous star instead where she didn't have to serve scum like me. If there is more than one, they often behave like a small, exclusive club that you are not good enough for, ignore you and/or and scowl at you. Doesn't matter how nice you are or if you tip them, the problem is them and their narcisstic arrogance like they're some superstars working at Starbucks.
I only like to go to a small Asian restaurant, they're always friendly and I always tip them. Actually I think it's the best place I've found in Berlin so far, the rest seems to be shit. But it has happened to me in other cities as well, also abroad.
German, talking about how Turks are not assimilating correctly (ie. not following superior German rules):
"Germany is not every accepting towards the turks who think of themselves as turks. They often speak turkish in public, they only hang around with their turkish friends and they are not very friendly towards germans, specially when they ask them to speak german."
So immigrants are bad when:
- they speak their own language IN PUBLIC
- have other immigrants friends
- don't listen to germans when germans order them to do something: a german is ordering them to speak german in germany, the turks are not listening, therefore they are bad immigrants.
Found this on another german/expat forum.
Guys, the common enemy here are germans, don't forget that, don't fall for the trolling.
I'm the person who posted the original rant. I do admit that compared to germans, turks are expressive, smiley, and it's sooooo much easier to communicate with them AND they have awesome food (the teas, baclava, and most of all THE COFFEE). Compare that to the cold, bland, germans, eating potatoes everyday.
From personal experience I can attest to the above experience. I was beaten up twice by Germans. Why? Because I expressed an opinion different from theirs and I was not willing to bend to their broken up mindset.When it was apparent that I would not bend for them they punched me. When I reported it to the police nothing happened..it was my fault. I have lived in many different countries and never had any experiences like this.Never had anything but good experiences with Turkish people in Germany. As far as I am concerned Germans are still Nazis.Disgusting robot waste of D.N.A.
It has a thriving arts industry: Scat porn and Crap art. Of which Germans are the Oscar winners everytime.
DOES BERLIN ACTUALLY HAVE A FILM OR ARTS INDUSTRY OR IS IT ALL BULLSHIT?
You can read about movie industry here as googling doesn't seem to be your strongest point en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babelsberg_Studio
Btw no need to scream :D
Become a Berliner 101:
-Lose your job (provided you ever had one to begin with)
-Get tunnels, or one earring to display how original and individual you are. If you are a woman, a nose ring is non-negotiable.
-Abandon heterosexuality and go bi, homosexual or metrosexual.
-Spend your Hartz-IV money on drugs. Preferably cheap, awful beer like Berliner Pilsener, and weed.
-Complain about everything. Yell at the sky when it rains or it gets cloudy.
-Pretend you're a techno DJ
-Get a tattoo. Preferably as many as you can afford.
-Hate foreigners, Germany, Christianity, yourself
-Buy a (green) parka
-Claim grafitti makes a city look beautiful
-Miss no chance to hate on America and Americans, while at the same time you annoy people with your stories from the time you were in New York.
-Use as many anglicisms as you can. Maybe people won't notice your poor grasp of English.
-Eat falafel, shawarma and other middle Eastern dishes so that you'll have enough energy to protest against refugees.
-Post "refugees welcome" stuff on Facebook all the time while at the same time complaining about Islam.
-Be vegan, drink club mate, be a feminist.
-Avoid normal, traditional dating. Be in an open relationship.
-Be proud of being a cuckold.
-Whether you're riding your bike, or driving around the city, be as aggressive as you can.
It's true. When you leave Friedrichshain/Kreuzköln/Prenzlauer/Wedding and enter the REAL Berlin Bezirke you meet people that do not fit into all of those descriptions above. A lot of people who live in Zehlendorf, for example, don't have tunnels and are not LGB or T.
Well at least you won't find any of the above mentioned there and btw there are a lot of expat families in Zehlendorf who move there because of good quality of live (lakes, parks, excellent bilingual schools such as JFK, good healthcare with the best doctors living in the Southwest of the city). But like I said, if you enjoy living in party/ drug hellhole Friedrichshain/"Kreuzkölln", then it's your choice. Enjoy your little bubble :-)
Kreuzberg has become as expansive as Mitte and other wealthy districts by the way, so if you can afford renting an apartment there or in the nicer areas of Neukölln or Friedrichshain, the financial outlook doesn't look more positive for newly arrivals than in the traditionally wealthier districts. Except of course you can enjoy the party/drug scene there, which you seem to loath at the same time. A bit contradictory, don't you think?
west berlin is pretty exclusivist, if you can pay a rent that doesn't mean that you also get the place while competing with germans with steady jobs and reputations. At the beginning, people move to kreuzberg etc. because they want to live in an international vibrant environment not necessarily a party/drug scene, so I'm sure there is no desire to live in a suburbia (yes, I know there are altbaus in areas like friedenau,steglitz -but it really feels like it). Berlin is indeed contradictory, that's what a lot of expats also found out after a while and that's what this discussion is about.
I lived in Koepenick, Prenzlauer Berg, Potsdam, Wilmersdorf, Dahlem and on the border of Maerkesches Viertel. Although there are slight differences between the areas, the lack of customer service and friendliness of the locals is pretty consistent throughout. Slightly different levels of coldness and indifference.
I'll never forget the first argument I had with my German/Berliner EX bf. We were peacefully watching a movie at home one night, he asked that I pause it so he may use the bathroom, so of course, I did. What happened next laid the foundation for our miserable 7yr relationship and thankfully Divorce.
As I pressed the Pause button, he flew into a RAGE. "Why did you press the button so hard?! Dont ever do that!! Remotes are expensive and pressing their buttons too hard wears them out faster, I dont work as hard as i do to search for this SPECIFIC remote! (*Because you know...if its not German made...its not good enough.) Then he proceeded to go of on this childlike tangent that included insulting my Career...Family...Childhood and Nationality. Sound Familiar??
Lol only a German would get mad because someone pressed a button too hard. Reminds me of one German I lived with who got angry because of increased toilet paper use. I mean, a bag of toilet paper costs only 1.79! It's not like you'll be poor if you buy two extra bags a month.
Either way...
First mistake: Dating a German man. Why did you do it? They usually smell bad, have mommy issues, sit down to pee, are bad in bed, not romantic, awkward and borderline autistic.
OP here, yeah he was a very toxic and negative person. Germans aren't happy unless they go through great lengths to make others feel inferior. He was such a loser. He lost a fantastic Job because he stole Cheese on a flight he worked. Because he was TOO CHEAP to buy food. Glad thats over!
Same thing with me, I had a German girlfriend who completely demolished my self esteem, it took me two years to get it back again after splitting with her. I thought I was useless and couldn't make any decisions for myself because of her constant criticisms. To many years wasted here, only 17 days to go, sorry to leave you all behind, but I've finally woken up. Don't try to find the magic key to understanding Berlin, there is no structure, no morals, no responsibility and no commitment etc etc etc etc.
What do you expect from a culture in which co-ed nudity in saunas and at every public "beach" is perfectly acceptable not just to some batshit fringe groups but to the masses? What do you expect from a society that doesn't adequately punish child molestation and public indecency? Expose yourself to a woman here (or a child for that matter) and you can expect absolutely no reaction from anyone. Is anyone surprised all of the men turn into avoidant babies and all of the women become controlling shrews?
Hole about this page changed its name to "germanhaters?" I bet the majority of people here never went to visit other German cities yet most claim to be experts for how Germans are, based on negative experiences in Berlin. Sorry, but that's pathetic and ignorant. Berlin is one of the poorest cities of the country. Many people are rude, many people are unfriendly, the weather sucks most of the time. Well-paid jobs are rare. Even most Berliners have at best a love-hate relationship with this city. Maybe you all should have made a bit more research on all that before moving to this over-hyped city. Warm regards from a Berliner who no longer lives here.
fornicate off, Hans. I lived in around 10 German cities and everywhere I went people were the same. Rude, unfriendly, ugly, smelly and primitive. So much for your so-called "superior race". I'm glad I no longer live in Germany. It's a country full of soulless robots. No wonder you have trouble integrating minorities. They don't really want to become like you.
Here's a killer tip: take a shower everyday. Stop smoking. Stop thinking your beer is the best (it really isn't). Stop doing the "Open relationship" thing. Don't be proud of being a cuckold. Stop being a vegan fagg0t. Treat people with respect, it doesn't make you seem weak in their eyes. Maybe one day you'll be a human being, Hans. In the mean time, enjoy your refugees xD
I actually lived in Brandenburg for a while. People there were genuinely a little friendlier. Specifically, I was offered rides to the closest bus station by random strangers when it was raining. But I'm 100% sure these people were racist as hell. Glad I'm white.
Remember, most Berliners are still carrying their brainwashed Commie-Think mentality and they've passed it down to their children. Has anyone here ever been asked to have a meal in a Berliner's home. They are still paranoid about being spied upon. We should feel sorry for them really.
Recently read a study comparing propensity for cheating at a game between east and west Germans. East Germans were much more likely to cheat than their western counterparts. Which isn't surprising when you stand in line with a bunch of these savages anywhere.
90% of scumbags in USA politics have German names.
I really dislike how everyone in Berlin is so xenophobic. It doesn't matter if you're from Turkey, the US, Poland, France, Vietnam, etc. - you will always be looked down upon. If you ever try bringing this up, every local will deny this and tell you that YOU ARE doing something WRONG (not following the rules, not learning German fast enough, etc.)
I have never met so many people with a superiority complex.
Sorry, but LA/NYC/Miami is already full of German tourists - the people who try so bad to be Americans, it's funny. Then you walk around Berlin, hear young Germans speaking english slang, listening to rap and trying to act all hood. Makes me laugh every time.
Euro hiphop sucks ass. It's either ungrateful wannabe tough guy MENA/African douchebags trying to sound tough, like they live in south side Chicago, and it all sounds the same, or hipster white dudes trying to prove how cool and edgy they are since US hiphop/trap is currently trendy until it's not in a year or two. And yeah, it's hypocritical af to on one hand constantly talk poop about the US and Americans and on the other adopt all of their trends like it's your own.
As soon as they have some vacation, germans flee to Spain and Italy because they find their own country boring. But then they have the nerv to look down on the people from those countries...
Yeah, I wonder where the German economy would be today if not for the massive cash injections from the US post-WW2.
Oh, I know - they would like eastern germany.
And yet, as you say, they find it in themselves to look down upon greeks, poles, spaniards, etc.
Hard work? Try gold fillings from Jews teeth and the cultural capital stolen from artists,scientists, intellectuals .(And anyone else) Stashed away in Swiss bank accounts.Pretty easy to rebuild a facade of country with this much stolen booty at your blister free hands.
I'm sure many would move to those countries in a heartbeat if their economies were in better shape. People keep immigrating to northern European countries, despite their lousy weather, food, and personalities, due to them having the best economies. The Euro has benefitted Germany and hurt southern Europe in that regard. Surprised the southern countries didn't try to do their own Brexit but I suppose they're hoping for the best in the long run. I wouldn't expect any compromise in that regard with the tight butt conservative party in power in Germany.
Typical German: passive aggressive, small minded, insecure, massive chip on their shoulder, humourless, unable to understand irony, no personality, boring, cheap, terrible social skills, low emotional intelligence, low empathy, prone to childish temper tantrums, prone to ad hominem or straw man attacks in debates or just repeating "sources?" Over and over like a robot gone haywire. Super collectivist, sheep like people who never think for themselves & are always thinking in one form of groupthink or another. They either tend to be deeply racist & prejudiced leftists who moralize at non-whites, gays etc (oh the poor dears, they need Fritz and Hans to defend them! They haven't got a brain of their own!) or deeply racist traditional Germans who just dislike/hate anyone not like themselves, but they also hate themselves & each other as well.
This is a really schizophrenic country, and Germans are very deeply psychologically disturbed people. I didn't come here at first having these views about Germans, but I am certainly leaving it with these views.
Oh God, I remember dealing with in-laws when I was still married. The worst was the spouse's brother. Typical Berlin trash. Too stupid, socially awkward and undisciplined to graduate from uni here, but thought the world of himself. Never had a girlfriend and had zero friends. Pale as a sheet, wore all black and looked angry all the time. Fingernails chewed past the quick, always picking his nose, digging in his crotch/ass and burping or farting without embarrassment. High-pitched laugh like a 13 year-old girl. Had something disparaging to say about every other country on earth.