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The drugs and club life that resonate to the mighty core of this city. I love Berlin, but what I have witnessed this "darkside" do to friends and acquaintances makes me despise this environment it provides for people searching for themselves. Berlin is a 90's teenager trying to find it's identity: The 4 day club weekend/no consideration for responsibility mentality still swinging like the increasing number of cranes that flourish the city. My wish for Berlin is to keep it's freedom, while leaving behind this darkside. Although I feel that's not what most of its inhabitants want. Therefore I believe my time is ticking before i leave this place and onto the next adventure.
" When they bump into with a stranger, they have no idea what to talk about. Except school or work. They can not hold meaningful, profound conversation. "
The reason behind this attitude is predictable. The German culture Is based on success. Being successful at school and / or work is the most important thing in that culture. They actually can hold conversations about other topics but at the first place they want to learn who is more prosper in the life ? ( I know sounds silly but this is the truth ) So, if they find out you are more successful they respect you somehow otherwise they start preaching.
It even happens with german in laws. My german sister in law is the perfect example. She ONLY talks to me about my professional plans in a sarcastic tone. Germans like her have no idea how to hold a small talk or even a meaningful conversation with a foreigner except inquiring about my INTEGRATION process.
I am not integrated enough yet in their superior nation to consider me as a human being with a personality.
I actually confronted her about it and she could only say that I am not trying hard enough to integrate.
Family communication should not always be a painfully bureaucratic integration interview.
Hello, I am the same person who has written that long post and also this one. ( There is no editing function unfortunately )
I understand you completely. That's why I said, there is no way to deal with their weirdness. The problem does not belong to you. I will tell you a story which is completely true and happened in the past two years. In Germany, there are too many language learning advertisements. They try to urge you to learn German. ( Which is understandable ) ( Die Sprache spielt wichtige Rolle zum Integration ) So, you have been learning the language and you need some practise. THIS IS TRUE STORY brace yourself. I have a friend who has been living in Germany more than me ( 5 years ) She ( Canadian master student ) is struggling to learn German but during our discussions we ended up like '' Okay, maybe we have to try harder '' So, she decided to show up at parties more and meet some German people. Anyways, She told me that, ''I have met a German guy and at the beginning, I was talking German, then we switched to English.'' I asked why, and her answer was : '' He told me that, he can speak better German than me so, he wanted to switch to English '' I have just written the truth. So, those weirdos can tell you that, they can speak their native language better than you. So, being able to speak German would not change anything. I was also hopeful about possible change after being fluent in German. Just no.
By the way, I do not want to integrate into their society. I mean, why would I ? What that society offers except money ? My opinion is just focusing on money. What means integration according to Germans ? I have no idea. I mean, we ( I think most of us on this website ) are educated, we can speak nice English, we won't do anything illegal. So, what they want us to more to integrate ? I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE ANYTHING RELATED WITH GERMANS, GERMANY. My only motivation is money. I suggest you to ignore that society as well, and find some foreigners to spend some time together.
I feel the same way as you. I focused on money at first and ignored the Germany's problem with foreigners till I married a German. You fall in love with a German who is an exception to the rule and you feel forced to stay because of strong attachment. I got laid with many German men but I never had close relations to them till I got married to a German. Now, I understand how the German family works and I cannot stand it. There is not open sympathy and often you feel like a stranger even if you try to learn their language. I wish I could leave soon.
Family makes everything harder because you cannot just ignore the issue. You have to show up with a proud smile and stay polite no matter how much they try to get to you via their passive aggressiveness because you love your partner and want to build a life together.
Integrating into a German family will bring many many tears. You have to be strong and not take everything too seriously to heart especially the German superiority complex.
My poor parents gave me a modest monetary gift for my wedding, but the German parents did not even congratulate me with greeting card or in person. It was so awful. Who the fornicate do they think they are? They are not the superior race to make me feel like I was the mistake their son made. I cried for weeks as weak loser not because of them but because i have to integrate with heartless and senseless people like this who pretend to be the best nation.
My parents accepted and congratulated this marriage despite the German biggest mistake of killing a bunch of "non Germans" yet the GERMAN parents do nada not even a verbal congrats and good wishes. Some german families might be different, but many of them do not accept their pure GERMAN child marrying a foreigner with open arms. They make you beg to be accepted by them. I cannot wait what happens when I get pregnant from their pure german wunderbar.
Hello everyone ! I have been reading your comments since couple of days. You have mentioned about nice points, however i have noticed that the problems which you have stated are %90 Germany related problems.
I am about to graduate from a master program in Dortmund. Lived there for 2 years. Currently i am doing an internship in another country. Unfortunately, i have to go back to Germany ( Berlin ) in couple of months for working. Well, my only life goal will be get rid of Germany as soon as possible and start enjoying the life again. I need to save some money to reach my dreams.
The best thing to do in Germany is focusing on money as foreigner. Germans are weird, have no idea about communication plus they do not have any emotions. Showing your emotions is considered as weakness in Germany. You have to hang around with poker face everywhere. You know, there are some stereotypes. Germans are rude, is the most common one. When you tell this to a German person, the possible answer which you would get back is " Germans are being direct and honest ". Well, this is not the case. Honesty and being direct are actually good. However, they are rude as hell. They rarely say thanks, they never help about any single thing and the most significant one, Germans like (tend) to exploit other people. I have seen some complaints about the difficulties of making friends. Well, if a German person can take advantage of you, you would be amazed how they could become friendly. Benefits must be tangible such as money, help on exams, task etc What will you get back in return ? Probably nothing. Communication is biggest issue for Germans. Guys, let me ask you a question. We are all aware of the steady, amazing, productive German economy right ? We live in the era of communication and technology. Can you please tell me, how many computer, cell phone, camera brand you know from Germany ? ( I mean actively operate in the market ) Probably zero. Why ? Simple as hell. Those products must be renewed in the short time according to customer requirements or you need to introduce very innovative product as producer. You know what Germans can not deal with ? Spontaneity. Holding conversations require to be spontaneous. When they bump into with a stranger, they have no idea what to talk about. Except school or work. They can not hold meaningful, profound conversation. So, do not put afford on making friends. Are you so stubborn ? Okay, let me tell you that it would take ages to become friend with German person because, you have to deserve their precious(!) friendship.
Finding a partner in Germany ? I have heard very strange stories about German person ( regardless gender ) - foreign person relationships. My suggestion is not to try it. I have mentioned about spontaneity vs Germans. The nature of relationships is spontaneous. You may want to amaze your partner by " surprise " dinner. A German would be very upset by that surprise dinner. According to German logic, everything must be structured and there must be a rule to do something. Well, you can not live your relationships with certain rules unless you are German. However, ONS or fornicate buddy concept can be done in Germany easily according to my observations.
To sum up, Germany is not suitable country to live for foreigners from social aspect. It's impossible to deal with their weirdness. However, if you are educated, skilful foreigner, you could earn really good amount of money in Germany. ( Even without knowing German ) Earn some money in Germany and try to get rid of that country asap to enjoy the life with normal (communicative, approachable and have some emotions ) people
if you have Germany's shi-t minus the chance of making money you get Berlin. I guess what makes foreigners hate Berlin so much is "the chance of making money" is what's missing most in Berlin and it's quickly spreading to the rest of Germany. I too lived in another German city and I agree that most of the things discussed here are applicable to other cities as well. But what is really missing in Berlin is money. Some here have discussed about startups throwing cash at incapable workers and such but in my experience that is not the norm. People most likely will make pennies than receive huge paychecks that allow them to leave. And I'm not asking about blue collar workers I'm talking about well prepared people. That's why my advice is always "LEAVE NO MATTER HOW". I have never been a fan of just waiting or muddling through. Now more than ever since one can make the same amount or more in cities other than Berlin or in countries other than Germany. Just my two cents. A good analysis of German personality though.
Your remark on exploiting other people is spot on. Germans will take a look at you, butts what advantages it brings them to talk to you and if they don't see any immediate benefit, they'll straight up ignore and dismiss you. like you're not even there. And they have no problem becoming friendly later when they find out the can use you somehow, this is really the norm how they treat foreigners. I am not sure how they treat others they perceive as equal class to them, I never expereinced that. It really helped me understand what girls talk about when they talk about "objectification"
"I am not sure how they treat others they perceive as equal class to them, I never expereinced that."
The same!
But thats also standard in other countrys like f.e. italy. And probably everywhere in the world.
Exploitation is the core of capitalism, not a german idea. The result ist such a behaviour.
I love this web sight but let us not insult each other for our opinions and views of Berlin or the world, for that matter.
Oh Jesus, can't believe I'm going to defend Berlin here.
Your lack of fornicating is not Berlin's problem. You're probably a combo of ugly and poor. Try not to be either, you'll have better luck next time.
That's not defending Berlin, if you want to defend Berlin just go to the comments that made you post on this website on the first place.
Actually you know what I need to defend? The people that needs to live with stupidity like your post on their daily life, always offending a group of people just because they are not like you (or what social media + Berlin hipsters made you do). You want to "defend Berlin? Okay, tell me why there is such an amount of old people putting their hands on garbage to get 8 cents worth of glass, then bring it home, then take it all to store in order to get a paper to buy food or whatever they want. Why?
Tell me why there are so many young expats in poverty because they can't find jack poop to make a living. Why?
Tell me why there are so many lunatics around this town every night scream in any other language. Why?
Tell me why every U-Bahn and S-Bahn will have at least one beggar on every trip, every day every year. Why?
Tell me why there are so many people moving to Berlin and end up suffering from loneliness and depression. Why?
Tell me why Berlin is even the so-called city for Start-ups. Why?
If you want to defend so much Berlin tell me why all this things happen and why people hate it due to lack of fornicating
You can also go ahead and tell me what is positive about Berlin being like that, or do what you do, offend me
I think you're looking too deep into this. The points you raise are valid. However, they have nothing to do with a dude who can't get laid. I also hate Berlin as much as everyone else here.
Below we have several posts from some butt hurt dude who couldn't get his leg over. 1 post yeah that's cool but multiple drunken 1 liners of despair... erm that's not cool. There's absolutely no defending this guy imo. Complaining you can't get laid and blaming the women of this city is utterly laughable, it's all his fault.
absolute bullshit, city is nice but women should be more easy like in 70s
sort your freaking auto correct below let me write my freedom of expression properly female dogs
this website auto corrects my poop below
fornicate and freaking should be replaced with fornicate below
Hard to find a good fuck. I mean like a proper good fornicate partner. Chicks look like they want attention but once you give them one, they don't know what to do with it. I mean come on freaking should not be that hard. Its like eating ice cream...
Look I used to live there i thought it was cool but now when i look at pics of it it makes me anxious. I recall once in a friendly way taking a picture of a traffic lady giving a ticket and her and her friend became very aggressive asking then demanding the camera, I had to run away, WTF! I never forgot that
i just think the people are mean spirited
For me it feels like most people here have the IQ of a Banana :)
Wow..You have to import your Bananas.And all other interesting "Culture". Because Germany has contributed zero to the world. Oh wait.."Club culture." Baaahhhaaa..Haaaha. Total wankers. I will sit with the Greek people and feast on "Schadenfreude" when your banks go down the toilet and you can party hard on Austerity. Suck my rosebud you clown.
Neither am I..But you can still suck on a Banana AND kiss my rosebud (Rosebud was made famous by a German writer....errrr well chick lit M.T.V, personality called Charlotte Roach...Quite a fuss was made about her jerk at the time.And in the film Citizen Cain...Where rosebud alluded to the female genitalia as opposed to the asshole..). Now..Run to Mummy and ask for these insults to be removed. You are sensitive little petal .
Bad man insult me first.Bad man say bad things which may confuse my mind. Bad man say Banana.rosebud and lick .I dont really know what this means but it must be good. My boyfriend only know grapefruit and Paw,Paw. Which is imported. Strange men who smell of sweat and dark skin pick this stuff. But I have only meet Germans in blackface at Karnival of culture. Admin....please.He insulted me first.( Quite true admin ).Big kiss to everyone at Berlinhater. Dont get too sensitive guys.x