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Banter and self deprecating humour don't work with these guys, it's cringe worthy to explain that you were joking so often. Trouble is, I just can't stop, it's a huge part of my personality
Too right. I used to think that Berliners had two default reactions to everything: rage and hilarity. But on the balance, I have narrowed that down. They have one reaction to everything: RAGE. It comes in a few varieties:
1. Cold Rage. This is shown by giving no response to your wit or compliments because, well, how dare you insult their intelligence with such niceties?! Everyone knows that any kind of warmth is all LIES!!
2. Mocking rage. Expressed with shrieking, hyena-like, humourless laughter, directed at anyone who looks, sounds, acts, a bit different or unique from the identikit crowd. How dare they try and upstage the status quo by setting themselves apart from it?! These people deserve to be punished... not with a sound beating, no. Instead let's laugh at them in shrill, piercing, hacking, Klingon-style guffaws that startle flocks of seagulls off of distant coastlines. And let's show the world that Germany really DOES have a sense of humour after all, just as long as YOU are the punchline.
3. Enraged Rage. The kind of rage Germany does best but is slightly embarrassed about because, you know, Hitler. The guy was a poster child for 'enraged rage' with his frothing, foaming, bursting facial capillaries, hacking consonants, the works. You'll experience this if you cross the street against the lights, cross your eyes at an S-Bahn security or desk clerk, or fail to queue in the right line at the Amt. Because those are the moments when World War III style levels of rage are really called for, obviously!
Unimpressed by this city. Certainly cannot hold a candle to real cosmopolitan cities of the world, but even for a medium sized city, it's depressing, dreary and cold. No trees, green, ugly concrete parks, most of the buildings are grey, ugly communist buildings, no beauty in the architecture, streets or energy of the city. People look miserable on the streets for the most part. You can feel this tension in the air. Homeless people everywhere, annoying hipsters everywhere, deranged people on the trains... Few people seem happy or genuine. Idle looking MENA men everywhere, who have a staring problem. I was in various parts of east Berlin for months & im saying this is not s one time or two time incident, these men stare at women non-stop. I have been to Istanbul in the past and I can honestly say it's the same level of staring/hostile body language or in Istanbul it was even less! I've had men stare at me, directly into my face, for 15+ minutes on these trains, trying to force me to look at them. I had an incident where I was looking at the ubahn stop list and this guy near the sign jumped forward towards me, trying to intimidate me. These men are hostile and seem angry that western women don't want to sleep with them. The Germans seem to be blind deaf and dumb to it. In denial. Delusional. People like to pretend it's a multicultural wonderland but that's a joke. As a female you can get raped on the train and no one will do anything, they'll just pretend not to see. Berlin has big problems ... Socially and economically. The only people who will enjoy Berlin are those wanting to live this faux alternative bohemian hipster "anti-capitalist" lifestyle. Beware of travel bloggers harping on about it, they are just looking to get views on their posts, since Berlin is a very hyped up city and the travel industry capitalizes on that. Don't recommend anyone to live in Berlin. If you want to visit to see the historical attractions (not much else to see or experience besides that tbh) just stay 3-5 days. That's all you need.
The lakes suck, wannsee is so packed in summer with boats people (they often have to shut the road as it's just too full. Weissensee is the most awful place I have ever been, the lake literally has a scum of suncream on its muddy waters, the gems like liepnitzsee are harder to get to, but still unbelievable busy, may as well jsut go to the Freibad (which are actually quite good).
The Parks would be better described as slightly managed fields, with bushes and trees, a few lame statues (turnvater Jahn anyone?) And many Junkies and promiscuous men disappearing into bushes, uncontrolled Mass barbecues (görli) or degrading bbq cages where twenty families can sit on top of each other on bare Dirt (preussenpark). And dog shit, heaps and heaps of dog shit.
As for so much of interesting, i agree with the previous dude, with a few exceptions, most buildings and streets are drab, grey, and uninspiring. Birmingham is more attractive a City than Berlin for sexual act sake!
Think you'll just leave the city for a day in the country side then? Welcome to Brandenburg, the Barren steppe of civilization. The buildings in these villages make Berlin seem like an architectural Dream, the people make Berliner seem cultures, and the Spreewald gherkin leaves one dreaming of Currywurst. If you like Flat Flat Flat fields, and Flat Flat forests, maybe you'll like it. Otherwise, prepare for dissapointment, or a very long Drive.
Berlin is a small City with little history Spanning further back than the 1900, Set in the flat featureless Wasteland of North East Germany. It is hours away from the next City, and worshipped by morons.
Stay away
OK, many buildings in the West are ugly but there are lots of lovely Altbau buildings in the city. Prenzlauer Berg springs to mind. As for lakes, there are many many lakes besides Wannsee. Lots of water and greenery compared to parched cities like Madrid. Plus space - wide streets, large fields, a lower population. Easy to cycle around by bike. Cafes everywhere. Quite low rent. Generally reasonable prices for most things. Great transportation system. OK, not so fond of the dog shit, the hipsters and crazy bums on the streets nor the rudeness of many locals
I've been here for over a decade, and I suppose I've integrated quite well into society.
I don't "have a laugh", I don't expect to hear people laugh or joke in public, and frown upon those who do.
I don't hold doors for women or the old, and I've learnt that offering a pregnant or old woman a seat is just not customary here.
I've developed the necessary "not unhappy, but not happy either" face- as I've discovered appearing happy is the sign of an idiot here.
Light conversation is now below me - proper Germans debate politics and the environment amongst friends in the most serious of ways, this is something I found challenging at first, but I've adapted, as one does when integrating into a new society.
My clothing has also adjusted appropriately - nothing beats a shirt tucked into some jeans with a suit jacket for important office work, but for those occasions when one really does need to dress up, I do ensure that my suit is suitably misfitted and preferably a delightful have of blue. Casualware is of course bland, cheap and unwashed, as is expected here
I also take a keen interest in current affairs, by watching for misbehaviour from my window, and promptly calling those delightful chaps from the ordnungsamt - it's a slippery slope, if you let folk walk on bike paths, park incorrectly, or cross lights on red, then the whole world will end quite quickly.
Im afraid to say, that the stereotypes, and a lot of the descriptions on this site are very true, but if you stick it out, you'll learn the ways of life here, and become a really useful member of the workforce.
I of course had it easier, stemming as I do, from a "respectable" foreign country. Those of you with darker skin, or simply less privileged lands, will first have to prove that you are capable of basic tasks like counting, following simple tasks and not stealing jobs before you can proceed to integrate further.
But it's worth it, life here is not super fun, but we're all really well insured, and so well regulated that you're very safe indeed.
How I read this: "As long as your are white and you come from a respectable country you can maybe, maybe be part of a culture that is bland but it's safe. Otherwise expect Germans to think you cannot even count because they don't like dark people, or Italian people, or Spanish people, well anything that is south of Germany."
To be fair, I worked with a (dark skinned) Brazilian once counting back returned rental items, there were a couple missing,and the customer actually turned to me, pointed at the Brazilian and said, "yeah, but can he even count". Needless to say, the Brazilian was pissed off
All the empty, dull, superficial people who go to live there to romanticize their senselessness, idolize the city as compensation for their own ignored sadness and longings.
In the summer its better, no?
The Lack of femininity is weird, they seem to take Great measures to lower the voice, stomp about, eat like pigs, cut their hair awkwardly and dress like shit, because of some vague perverted understanding of Feminism.
Just because you don't have to behave according to your gender doesn't mean you have to behave as if it were not your gender.
For those people, who aren't already in Berlin, but want to move to. You should understand one thing very clearly: if you'll move to Berlin - you'll never make friends here. You'll be lonely till the rest of your life. Huh, OK, if you're german - you have some chances, but otherwise...No, no way. Berliners don't know, what friendship, smiles, sex, passion, openness actually are. And, I guess, will never know.
Of course we berliners can make friends, and smile and darn bro..sex is awesome with u tourist girls..we simply dont give a fornicate about u tourists with ur wanna be hedonistic lifestyle taking over the city with crap instagram boutique sushi wannabe new york....blabla...lifes hard ..berlin is harder
pooping people and pooping politicians. fornicate this city and fornicate hertha bsc!
In a few words, what do you hate THE MOST about Berlin?
well goodbye for good Berlin. It was not nice meeting you. Everybody here is so hyped for the summer but I only see a steaming pile. I hope I never ever come back to this place.
Here's a thing that actually happened to me a few days ago and I believe it sums up pretty well why I will probably never function socially in this country. It didn't happen in Berlin though, but this site is the best place I can think of sharing it: There's a train station, where the arriving train is split in two in the middle, and each of the two "heads" that point in different directions have opposing destinations. I was standing there with my bike on the far right side, minding my own business and waiting for the train. Suddenly this woman comes up to me, late middle aged, short and slightly overweight. Apparently she has some company with her, which doesn't catch my attention right away. She asks me in this dubious tone "Sagen Sie mal, können Sie mir bitte mal sagen warum man mit dem Fahrrad hier stehen muss?" which can only be roughly translated as "I'd like to know why one has to stand here with one's bike", which doesn't cover it properly though. I was just startled and stared at her, paling. Several thoughts shooting through my head: Am I blocking the way? No. Is it forbidden to ride the train with a bike? Or stand around waiting for it? No? Right? What am I doing wrong?
Then she continues, since there's no answer coming from me: "The guy over there told us to enter the train in the far right part." Oh. She meant that as in "We were told to enter the train with our bikes here. Can you tell us why?" I explained to her that the trains splits and yada yada yada. And that was the moment I pretty much realized why I don't manage to get along well with most people and why I feel so lonely and have no real friends. I don't think I'm in the right place.
OP here. I grew up in Berlin, so no, thanks, I don't intend to go back ever again. I'm slightly better off here, but again, these people have an idea of communication that just boggles my mind. These kind of things happen on a daily basis by the way. It's so exhausting I swear.
"creative-bio-hipster-feminist-LGBT-tolerant-muslim-yoga-dj-party scumbags... "
Ha ha so true ! It seems that people in Berlin are always the same.Im tired of this people to,most of these people are in areas like Kreuzberg,Neukölln etc
Most Berliners (Germans and Immigrants) are filthy Bastards and female dogs :)
THEY told me that I wasn't cool enough to be in their clubs and be their friends. So I adapted my behaviour to adjust to their expectations. THEY told me I wasn't "German enough" so I had to share their culture (whatever that is) and master their language even the small nuances that not even all Germans know. THEY told me that I had to take an insane amount of drugs and alcohol because I wasn't open minded enough, so I can finally "GET BERLIN". THEY told me I had to hate on others but keep it low-key because Germans have to give the impression of "openness" while still hating with their guts everything that they don't like. I finally realized I made a mistake. I wish I had stopped long ago. The only way to "get Berlin" is having your brain so destroyed that you can no longer be human and accept injustice as if it were natural so in a delusion created by your mind after years of nothing but drugs and hate you can be happy to have a beer while doing K in a dark room surrounded by strangers as destroyed as you are. Berlin is not hedonistic, it's just self-destructive.
I'm tired of the endless journeys you have to take just to meet friends in other parts of town.
I have never seen so many lonely, neglected, crazy people all the time in my entire life.
After a while even Vietnamese, American or Spanish people become like Germans... no service, no smiles, no politeness.
I feel like this is a city without a vision or some kind of hope. Everything just comes together and clashes.
There are great little initiatives and people who are creating communities here. But the vast majority has no clue on how to love well, how to enjoy life, make things work out for themselves and get along.
I'm leaving in October. Now it's "spring" but I don't forget those winters. I actually got ill due to the lowest vitamin D levels my doctor ever saw. Berlin.
Very astute post.Berlin = Antidepressants.Alcohol.Oblivion.
The startup scene in Berlin: showing fake KPIs to VC, getting money from VC, buy Facebook Ads (95% of the marketing jobs in Berlin), showing more KPIs (people who click to your ads, eventually sign up but not using your stuff in any way). At the end, living the hard and real life in London comes less expensive than living the fake dream of Berlin.
I'm glad to read here more about the "startup scene" crap in Berlin.
Taken from this article: travelsofadam.com/2015/05/berlin-startup-scene/.
But it’s my belief that a lot of startups, including those “cool” ones regularly making headlines in Berlin, are doing things at the expense of workers rights. My generation maybe has more opportunities for new things, for better things—hell, even for a better life. But at what cost?
Seriously, Berlin is one of the worst spots to work in tech in the world. I'm happy this is being talked more because the city is attracting talented people and making unfulfillable promises. I won't be surprised that many of those guys will be talking here in the months and years to come.
Is it just me or is it plain impossible to make friends in that city? I've never been so lonely in my life, people here aren't interested in creating friendships - I mean even the bare minimal social interaction is missing (people stare angrily instead of smiling, customer service doesn't exist, people bump into you violently and don't bother to say sorry...). I am getting so depressed Iddon't know what to go, where to go to meet decent people that aren't drunk or junkies.
I'm preparing my escape, it should happen in September but in the meantime I'm going completely nuts :(
Same here, with only one difference, I'm introvert and for me is perfectly fine to live in the big city, without having any friends. The same period ( last year ) I was really depressed like you, bought a dog and guess what, depression gone :) btw I'm also preparing my escape, just to finish studying in this shithole.
The problem being that even foreigners here are annoying, they can't stop talking about how "great" and "open" Berlin is. They can't smell the poop that's right down their feet. It became impossible to find expats who aren't into the "party scene" of Berlin.