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Awesome weather we have ... darkness and rain ... feels like it will never stop.
Here's the problem. One you first come to Berlin and meet some people, you don't realize that most of them are from other places in Germany.
So you have a few conversations and you think, great, this place seems friendly enough, but what you don't realize is that it s not going to go any further, there will be no chance to flirt and feel out the situation, maybe just to have a platonic (should be called paltonic) friendship, because if you give them your phone or email address, you will never hear back. If you get their ph/email, and you contact them again, they will say they are busy with exams or working one of their two or three jobs to survive, but maybe on the 17th of next month at 13.27, they can have a tea with you for 43 minutes, because on the 23rd they are going away and will need a week to get organized for the trip, but they will be back in three months time, so maybe a month after that we could meet, on the 26th Sept at 15.05, but maybe just a quick meeting because I will have to prepare for my university semester.
This is a constant scenario. For awhile you think, that's OK, soon enough I'll crack the code.
So you decide that Berlin is not going to defeat you. OK, but here is the biggest fault we make. Because so many Germans speak English, beautifully, I might add, we get lulled into a false sense of security and think that we can get away with not learning German formally. We get log into DuoLingo.com and start trying to make sense of the cases and gender grammar, but after a few days, we think, this is just too mcuh nonsense, why the fack do we need to call something by it's gender. Also, we can't even remember the formal rules of our own language, even if we speak it very well, because we are used to the short-cut colloquialisms that we've grown up with, and there-in-lies-the-rub (try saying that phrase to a German) because they have the reverse problem, they can't understand a lot of our slang, and so they feel that it's hard work to keep up with us in conversations and they are also scared of looking uneducated, stupid or dumb, so they avoid speaking English as much as possible, no matter how good we think they speak it.
If a German came to live in London - something that will probably never happen - and they didn't speak any English, I don't think we would welcome them with open arms as well and it would be awkward and hard work trying to communicate with them, so we'd probably tend to avoid them, because we wouldn't be able to banter with them, because they just wouldn't get our inyourendos and intimations, asides, overtones and allusions etc.
The other problem is that we are not sure how long we are staying, so spending so much time on a new language that can't be used anywhere else in the world, except some Nazi hidey-hole in Argentina, we think, why bother, they speak English, who needs German. Big, big mistake, because they just win't invite you anywhere because they don't want to burden themselves and their friends with the task of speaking English all night, and even if you have learned German to some level, you still won't get all their inyourendos and intimations, asides, overtones and allusions etc. Of course they won't miss having fun with absurdity, because everything about their culture is absurd, so they don't see the funny side of it, they are like "zo vy ist das funnee, ist just der vay it ist, why are you laughing, it's zo childish to do zo".
I mean, why the F* have die der das, what possible good does it do to have to learn such redundancies. Umlauts, don't get me started on umlauts and the ch sound, that you think you have right and then someone laughs and says, "no that is the Bavarian way of saying it".
What is the retro 70's fashion of the people who live f=don't get off the U8 by OsloerStr, but keep going to parts that no one else has ever been to. I saw two middle aged twins with khaki shorts that were pulled up so high they were strangling their nuts and short sleeve shirts tucked into them with ties, and here's the thing, they were looking at my light blue Velo shoes as though I was some kind of weirdo alien. It was one of the most surreal moments of my time in Berlin, and believe me I've seen some weird stuff, and I'm not even talking about guys people with tattoos all over their necks and faces, or others who think it's in some way cool to have huge cirlce earrings in their earlobes, I saw one guy who added weights and his lobe was dangling about three inches lower than where the other 99.999999999% of the population have their's.
The nose rings make me feel ill. It's almost like a uniform to have these cheap gimmicks plastered all over their bodies, and then they wonder how they ended up with piss and sh.it stained pants and smelling like a sewer, no, make that worse than a sewer as they sleep off their cheap wine in u-bahn stations and all the little do-gooders run around feeding them or giving them money to buy more booze, it's like buying someone with lung cancer a packet of ciggies. Here's a tip, let them bottom out and then they will be forced to get back into the realiity of the world where their no such thing as a free lunch.They make me embarrassed to be a human being, how can anyone let themselves go that low. I've seen alcoholics in many countries, but some of these people are only in their twenties. The worst thing is when they traipse through the trains with a beaten up paper cup, standing over you for money. I just close my eyes now and say, "danke, aber nein". And seeing the thousands of people scavenging through the rubbish bins for bottles, picking up butts off the street, eating snadwiches they have pulled out of the trash bin, all while holding a bottle of cheapo beer. Skoll!!! No wonder there are so many losers, they are all addicted to the cheap beer and smokes.
OK, get me started on the jerk-off bicyclists who scream at people in full Nazi-German at any tourist who has accidentally wandered onto their hallowed turf. I often pull tourists over when they are on the bicycle path and with a smile, worn them about the German imbeciles that will yell at them. They usually thank me.
What's with the morons who smash beer bottles on the bike paths. And the psychopaths who steal bicycles. Do they have no conscience, not to mention the hoards of pickpockets, and the guys on the U8 who female genitalia your iPhone just as the door of the train is about to close and make a runner leaving you stranded in the train as you watch them make their getaway.
Even the slightest skirmish attracts a battalion of police cars and then a squad of ambulances and fire trucks. Although for the majority of people, I think the police here are pretty cool, but hello, why the hell do they allow hundreds of Africans to openly sell drugs on the street. These druggies are making a mockery of the police. How can someone come to another person's country and stand around all day harassing people to buy drugs from them. They really make the Berlin police look like Keystone Kops. They have driven families away from Gorlitzer Park and now they are taking over Revaler Str.
OK, now get me started on the BVG shop personnel. My god, have they never heard of the term customer service? I went in one day with my monthly tickets and placed them on the change tray and pointing to the ticket politely said "ich mochte ein monat fahrkarte, fon heute bitte". She looked at me and scowled something in Berliner Schnauzer, I looked back totally confused an asked, "kann du sprech bischen English", she yelled back "Was, was", I said "why don't you look at the ticket", with that the other seller said, "hey, watch your language", I said "what language", she said "I don't like your tone, it sounds unfriendly", with that I just broke out in uncontrollable laughter, try ti splutter out the words "a BVG employee calling someone else unfriendly, that's comedy gold". I just couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. These BVG people, are sociopaths of the first order.
Your i a hurry to get a bahn ticket from the machine, you click all the right buttons and then, you just wait and wait and wait as your train doors close and finally you see the ticket drop. I'm sorry, but I've been served quicker in a Berlin post office, OK, that's a lie and you know it is, because there is no way you are going to get any change from 15 minutes on the queue, or the snake, as Berliners like to call it, which is quite charming, but not as cute as hand shuhe for gloves, or a traveling wheel for a bicycle, the translated meaning for fahrrad.
When I first came to Berlin, and English friend of mine said "Berlin girls are cute, until you live with them". I thought he was exaggerating, but two relationships later, I wish I had listened more closely to his blatant warning. Talk about control freaks. All they ever want to do is argue with you. They will never praise anything you do and very rarely even say thank you. No matter what you do with a German girlfriend, it will be wrong, if you go left, it's wrong, so you double back and go right and that will be wrong as well. You can't please them.
Phone-line customer service, :o)))) OK, where do we start. No, too traumatic to bring all those frustrating expensive calls up from the past.
"The Rules", that are never to be broken, under any circumstances. Especially the rul about waiting like a total, idiot for the green man with the funny hat before you cross the road, even though there are cars for one km either side at 01.00am. OK, if there are children there, fine, I see their point, but even of there are no children, the dirty looks you get from Berliners could kill when you cross against the red OstBerlin icon.
Who are the imbeciles who do all the tagging around Berlin? Are they totally retarded?
Berlin is one huge urinal, just piss anywhere you want, in front of whoever you want.
Who built the floors in apartments that reverberate every step of the numbskulls upstairs, I say numbskulls, because like me, they must be numbskulls to still be in Berlin.
What's with the TV licence even when you don't have a TV, radio or internet connection in your apartment. "oh" they say "but you can access public radio from your phone", but even if you didn't have a phone, they will still charge you the whopping €17.50 per month, that's €7 billion per year, €7 billion, not million, billion.
The nasty unfriendly people who are supposed to "serve" you in Saturn or T-Mobile make me feel ill, just thinking about them. I remember going into a supermarket in Japan and there was a beautiful/demure you woman greeting me wit a bow from the waist and a greeting "Konnichiwa". It really felt good to see her smile, whether she meant it of not. Here it's my like a scowl and a grunt for making them have to work, if you are lucky, usually you will be given a cold shoulder or a look as though you should order "NOW". "Stop thinking and order, you stupid English speaker".
My god, can you imagine where Berlin would be without all that English-speaking currency from all over the world. They would be in the same boat as Romania.
I came here as one of the most positive, happy, friendly and optimistic people in the world, and after a weeks's holiday in the south of France, I realize that when I leave Berlin very soon, I will again become that person, instead of the cynical beast I've become, just to survive this despicable place.
Berlin is a great big bore. Especially that guy on the door at Berghain what a pretentious *****. I can't understand any person who is not psychologically damaged, wanting to go back again, it is the most over-rated club ever. The best club in Berlin is Ritter Buske, there's a tip newcomers. But remember, if you get groped by some beautiful girl, it's only because she is on ecstasy etc, you will never hear from her again after that night.
OK, RULE NUMBER ONE. NEVER and I mean NEVER, lend anyone money in Berlin, unless you are willing to never see it again. They will never get enough to pay you back and will probably have to scarper back home before they ever find a job that will pay more than enough to just scrape by each month.
And never, ever think you will find people to cooperate with you, because Germans only know competition, survival of the fittest. Don't fall through the cracks here. Better to go to a smaller city that is not so anonymous. I actually know many people in Berlin, but I couldn't say one was a friend and I make friends very easily wherever I travel. Another strange thing is that with all my acquaintances, I very rarely bump into them on the street, it's just too big a city.
Oh, did I mention the huge cost for health insurance. You are in for a big shock. Better visit Hans Merkur before being ripped off by a broker. Also, shop around for a tax agent, because they will try to charge you all sorts of exorbitant prices for a business plan to take to the Auslander Behorder, where you will have to wait for three months for an appointment with a surly DDR frau, in a building that looks like it was probably an old Stasi interrogation headquarters.
But, in saying all of this, I actually feel sorry for Berliners, because what has made them this way is a history of never ending conflict and upheaval and they have of course passed all their fears onto their kids.
Don't ever expect to be invited to a Berliner's house or apartment. You see in the Stasi times, they were too scared to invite neighbours over, in case they saw a book or record that was from the West and they might report them to the Stasi police. This of course has filtered down to the kids "never trust anyone Klaus, do you hear, no one".
Also, never ask a Berliner for help with a question, they will not make any effort to go out of their way to help you. They have the social graces of wild boar.
Here;s my advice for you, come here for a holiday to see the freak show, have a good laugh and enjoy being disgusted and then leave, just leave and don't come back unless it's for another holiday.
I haven't even mentioned the BER airport fiasco, what a joke.
The stink of doner joints by the thousand, boring bakeries on every corner and spatis, all selling the lowest common denominator food, alcohol and tobacco, the main staples for Berliners, who are going to be left behind as Berlin comes into the new reality of globalism. The arty party is over. When I leave, I will still come back for holidays, because one good thing about Berlin in small doses, is that you realize just how sane you are.
If you are stuck here, don't get to thinking you are going to crack the code, you see their is no code, it's just a lame place full of lame losers.
OK, that's the positive side to Berlin, now would you lie to hear the negative stuff :o) Don't get me started.
By the way, I didn't even mention registering with the police and the burger amt. For Christ's sake don't say you are a Catholic or you will be taxed 10% of your earnings, I kid you not. Ok, that's enough, I think you get the gist.
Berlin 201 - Advanced studies in nonsense. I liked how you dissected the most relevant aspects in such a comprehensive way. I left the city a few months ago and I still feel scared by the city but what you've mentioned is true, after you leave the city, you realize how sane you are, even if you are a darker version of your former self. I guess with time you can get back to a better state. And that comes from a guy who lived in Berlin for many years and had studied German for years before coming to the country, in a way "the kind of foreigners Germans like (but not really)".
Damn, you deserve an award for this post. Perfectly accurate.
I particularly enjoyed the part in which you write about the fuck.ing TV licence fee. Since I don't own a TV nor radio I have always refused to pay for what I believe is a big as.s scam (it's been almost 3 years now but I should be leaving the country in 3 months or so), I have debt collector agents and bailiffs running after my as.s, I could even go to the jail for this nonsense!
No wonder the german economy is doing "well", they rip their citizens off in every possible way.
I am so friggin frustrated with this city and the people in it. What is wrong with them!! All of them? Why are they so friggin rude... Go to a cafe in neukoln they give me filthy looks , girl has serious attitude problem And they turn off the wifi so I can't use it anymore???? Go in to a supermarket ask the person working there something about the bread isle (in German) and she keeps her back turned to me and just shouts ' I'm a cashier' and walks away.. Doesn't even acknowledge me as a human being... How do they get away with it?? I wear something nice out like a dress or heels people stare at me like a a freak but it's fine to walk round looking like a tramp covered in crap ... Seriously? Is everyone lost here?? And if I don't want to go to Berghain on a Sunday and get off my head to techno what the fornicate is there to do?? Every store is closed. No one else wants to do any real other nice actives. Soho house is about the most exciting thing I can find here now?? Also what is it with jobs? I'm freelance so lucky I have something but most people can't be bothered to work. How are these people cool and creative etc they are just friggin lazy!!! And people that think they are the best at what they do here like art , make up , photography... Are no where near the best ... Try going to London or LA where you find people that are driven and ambitious and good at what they do, don't just provide a half butt service... I can't even find a decent handy man that will fix things in my apartment. People pretending they are something they are not or have no real idea about.
Today I'm leaving Berlin forever. I probably will never come back to this website either. Ohh "but the summer is so good, why do you leave now". Simple, because there is another sentiment more powerful here. The "why don't you go back to (insert xenophobic comment here)" comments finally have worked for Germans I guess. I won't share all my experiences here but all I'm gonna say is that I will never, ever come back to Berlin, actually all Germany, Austria, most of France (specially Paris). People told me that because these are big cities and they're not the representation of the world has of them and you just have to adapt to them. That's bullshit, I come from a bigger and more diverse city, and these cities are their people have simple lost their freaking minds. Nationalism and Xenophobia are on the rise and being accepted as the status quo. Any remains of progressiveness that these places have will banish soon, and all problems being blamed on the others, France blames Germany, Germany used to blame Spain and Italy but now they blame all Muslims on Earth, Austrians uber alles, and so on and so forth. It will take decades to sort out this mess, and I frankly don't have the time or energy to educate Germans about that other non-Germans have good qualities even less to spend all my live to be a living proof of that, I say NO, I won't be part of their learning process. I will just move on with my live and mind my own business far faaaar away from these people. There might be good things and people but in all honesty I cannot remember any given that most of things I've had to gone through here have been major fornicate ups. I simply cannot remember anything positive here. So long Germany and a big fornicate you for you.
Hey holier-than-thou lefty,
The citizens of France, Germany and Austria have every right to fear, worry and blame the surge of muslim economic migrants (mostly military age men) who pretend to be refugees. You should leave central europe because you judge your host country for reacting in a natural way to the violence and sexual abuses of muslim migrants.
How would you feel if your home was invaded by millions of millions of people with completely opposite religion and culture demanding welfare instead of fighting for their country's freedom and rebuilding it to a more prosperous one.
www.youtube.com/watch.
That's why some far right groups go nuts over muslims. Seriously, stop the hate from all sides. Stop double standards. Stop disrespecting your host country. Berlin has all this unnecessary political hate and tension in the air.
I wrote the original post, I've never been accused of being a "lefty" before. I actually lean toward the right, I favour free markets, free trade and other related things but whatever, that is not really relevant to the post. My only point is nationalism is never, ever good. Good luck Germany sorting your stuff out for the next 3 - 4 decades. I know that many capitalist and productive foreigners are already leaving the country. The "leaving Berlin" phenomenon is real and it does not only applies to a few people.
To the original poster: don't mind the xenophobic dude who called you a lefty.
His comment reflects fairly well what motivates me to leave Berlin; fear of the others, xenophobia in other terms. They need someone to blame for their misery and inability to blend with people who don't share the same culture.
They blame everything on Muslim people although they are the ones who did the most inhuman, despicable damage to humanity (amnesty international recently condemned Germany for its lack of action against racist crimes, not to mention the 2 world wars they started in the past) yet they still dont seem to understand that others aren't the problem, it's pointless.
Congrats for leaving this insane city, all the best for your future!
You lefties without arguments always follow the same stream of thought. I'm migrant myself. I hate nationalism. I am not a dude. I experience more racism and gender related discrimination from other male migrants. Berlin sucks but do not hate on all the Germans or on all Berliners and always use the term xenophobic as your last resort argument.
Would be tourists to Berlin: whether you use Airbnb or not, know that Berlin has banned it (renting apartments/flats), because the city of Berlin blames tourists for skyrocketing rents. This reflects the general attitude Berlin has regarding tourists: they are not welcome. Spend your money in a city that is not filled with xenophobic a**holes who really don’t want you in their city. Go somewhere more pleasant, where the locals either don’t mind tourists or they are nice to you because they are smart enough to know that treating tourists well = making money. Berliners don’t get this because Berlin has always been funded by Germany… they’ve never had to be fiscally responsible. They’ve never had to build industries, have a stable economy or provide jobs.
If cities were people, Berlin is a spoiled 15 year old who gets everything paid for by their parents (Germany), never has to be accountable for itself, never has to face reality because it is pampered by it’s parents. Berlin would be a total 3rd world sh*thole if it were not located inside Germany, one of the wealthiest, strongest and most prosperous nations in Europe. Keep in mind that holiday rentals make up a tiny % of apartments/flats available in Berlin, and are not responsible for the rising rents. But typical berlin corruption/avoiding the real problem and deflecting the blame on something or someone else/typical xenophobic berliner mentality is entirely PREDICTABLE. Reality is that tourism is Berlin’s only real industry and prices have been going up before Airbnb. Reality is also that gentrification and globalism is affecting all cities in the world, not just special snowflake Berlin. Berlin has a strong case of “I’m a special snowflake” and the people living in it also have a strong case as well, and for no reason. Berlin is the epitome of mediocrity. People just buy into the Berlin hype and are fascinated by it’s war history and nightlife that has been so hyped up at this point, that they actually spend their money in this sh*t city and don’t notice or don’t care that the locals hate them.
spoiled 15 y/o? More like a spoiled balding 35 y/o special snowflake who's entered every university in the planet and never has gotten a degree. The rest is incredibly accurate of course. I wish more people coming to the city or even already living in the city for years read this. I know this is asking to much to people but sooner or later they realize the things that were pointed out by OP.
This comes only from my experience only but I recently had the chance to open the European office for a startup I'm part of, and Berlin was one option. I studied in Berlin and I know exactly what Berliners are capable of (more like incapable of). Despite what other people said, founders, salespeople, accountants saying that the rent is cheap, tons of "qualified personnel", etc. I knew that Berlin was gonna be an endless waste of cash because that's what people in Berlin is used to, exactly what the first comment said. I knew that literally anywhere in Europe would be a better option and that's what I did. Needless to say, other teams from the incubator that chose Berlin over other cities and countries had to close their office, close their business altogether or are still asking for more money to VCs and in neither case they've been able to create even a functioning office, much less a product. That's why people funding projects and enterprises despise the city because they never get anything off the city, only debt.
Airbnb is horrible and greedy just like uber. These tourists should stay in hotels. Stop blaming residents for not wanting to live ìn their apartment complex filled with come and go tourists. You people are as entitled as other Berliners. Get a reality check.
I second that- except the problem isn't so much airbnb being greedy, it's the people buying up huge amounts of prime housing that was zoned and intended for living in, simply to rent out to airbnb- it has a real effect on the people living next door, and is totally unnecessary, short term renters can short term rent as they always have, tourists can stay in hotels as they always have, and real airbnb (renting your own place while you're away) isn't effected anyway as far as I understand
Yeah... there are two sides to the airbnb story. I've been researching it and feel inclined to weigh in. One side is that Air started off by being a cheaper alternative to short term holiday housing in places like New York and London, but once that model was imported to a market like Berlin - with well regulated rent controls and low prices - then suddenly, airbnb was a more expensive option, not a cheaper one. As anyone who's used it here knows, airbnb landlords in Berlin intentionally charge what London and Paris natives would think is a good price, and that amounts to roughly 3 times what WE think is a good price! But then again, the new law preventing short term lettings to tourists does nothing to prevent airbnb from renting out flats long term for higher rents. It only stops them letting out flats for under 2 months. THAT is an example of tourist-baiting and scapegoating visitors. In reality, the tourists are the ones being ripped off by Berlin landlords whenever they use these sites. They are in a sense, more of a victim than the landlords who've become rich off them. So the intention was good but as usual, the government spun it in a xenophobic way to appease all their constituents, even the dumb-ass ones who automatically blame foreigners for all ills, whether real, imagined, homegrown or imported. Those dumb butts exist everywhere of course (Brexit, anyone?) but Germany cannot take the high road when it caters to them as willingly as the Tory party does.
Speaking of rancid stench..Why hasent anyone exploited Berlins biggest natural resource..Dog shit. I propose a "start up" dog poop collection for community Guerrilla gardening and cutting edge Vegan restaurant .Any left over poo can be collected and dumped on Berghain. Maybe then some nice flowers would grow rather than the field of cunts that exists at the moment.
Hmm, summer in berlin just wouldn't be the same without the fragrant aromas of sun-dried tramp accompanying your commute.
What's your favourite flavour? Gangrenous leg? Freshly pissed myself? Unwashed arse?
Personally I'm a big fan of the evaporating stale beer variety
Three weeks, really? I find it's a bit too delicate for my taste, Its rather difficult to discern over the general background odours. I tend to favour the older vintages, anything from a 6 to maybe a 10 seeker, though I do feel anything above ten to be rather too intense for my liking
In Berlin no one says "they took our jobs" because there are no jobs to begin with.
Keep spreading the word about this page and let many people to know what a boring sad Hellhole Berlin is :)
I've lived here 6 months now and can't wait to get out. I hate GEMA, I really want to watch youtube videos so who are they to decide that I cannot. Well soon I can in another country ha ha, screw you. I also hate it that when I want to get information in English online, it is not always possible because if there is a German version of anything like Adobe programs, magazines etc it's really difficult to get the version in English and I'm just so done with it how difficult everything is when you don't speak German. I really hate it too that in any service oriented situation you don't get service nor a smile, people are just downright rude to you and do their best to make you miserable too. To be honest not everyone but too many people in my opinion. Nobody wants to talk to you, everyone is just so rude, self-centered and entitled. I'm SO happy to leave this place very soon. Thank you for a forum like this, it made me feel better about this for now : D counting days to leave. Also, I have thought am I the bad person here but then again I have lived in several countries and unfortunately never had such experience of disliking a city as much as in Berlin. Actually I still like a lot of the cities I have previously lived in so there's something about Berlin.. I think I might be too soft and sensitive for Berlin, here you have to be very tough and independent and I don't want that to such extend. Great place to visit maybe for a few days but beyond that unbearable to me. Thank you and bye.
When I see somebody leaving I feel a little bit envious because I wanna do it but I don't have enough money to do it. But then I see that all you people leaving are actually nice people full of dreams and hope and positive energy I know you are doing the right thing I always find a little bit of hope that.Beacuse I know that I too can do it someday and that is the force that moves me towards this goal, towards freedom. Towards leaving Berlin.
Banter and self deprecating humour don't work with these guys, it's cringe worthy to explain that you were joking so often. Trouble is, I just can't stop, it's a huge part of my personality
Too right. I used to think that Berliners had two default reactions to everything: rage and hilarity. But on the balance, I have narrowed that down. They have one reaction to everything: RAGE. It comes in a few varieties:
1. Cold Rage. This is shown by giving no response to your wit or compliments because, well, how dare you insult their intelligence with such niceties?! Everyone knows that any kind of warmth is all LIES!!
2. Mocking rage. Expressed with shrieking, hyena-like, humourless laughter, directed at anyone who looks, sounds, acts, a bit different or unique from the identikit crowd. How dare they try and upstage the status quo by setting themselves apart from it?! These people deserve to be punished... not with a sound beating, no. Instead let's laugh at them in shrill, piercing, hacking, Klingon-style guffaws that startle flocks of seagulls off of distant coastlines. And let's show the world that Germany really DOES have a sense of humour after all, just as long as YOU are the punchline.
3. Enraged Rage. The kind of rage Germany does best but is slightly embarrassed about because, you know, Hitler. The guy was a poster child for 'enraged rage' with his frothing, foaming, bursting facial capillaries, hacking consonants, the works. You'll experience this if you cross the street against the lights, cross your eyes at an S-Bahn security or desk clerk, or fail to queue in the right line at the Amt. Because those are the moments when World War III style levels of rage are really called for, obviously!
Unimpressed by this city. Certainly cannot hold a candle to real cosmopolitan cities of the world, but even for a medium sized city, it's depressing, dreary and cold. No trees, green, ugly concrete parks, most of the buildings are grey, ugly communist buildings, no beauty in the architecture, streets or energy of the city. People look miserable on the streets for the most part. You can feel this tension in the air. Homeless people everywhere, annoying hipsters everywhere, deranged people on the trains... Few people seem happy or genuine. Idle looking MENA men everywhere, who have a staring problem. I was in various parts of east Berlin for months & im saying this is not s one time or two time incident, these men stare at women non-stop. I have been to Istanbul in the past and I can honestly say it's the same level of staring/hostile body language or in Istanbul it was even less! I've had men stare at me, directly into my face, for 15+ minutes on these trains, trying to force me to look at them. I had an incident where I was looking at the ubahn stop list and this guy near the sign jumped forward towards me, trying to intimidate me. These men are hostile and seem angry that western women don't want to sleep with them. The Germans seem to be blind deaf and dumb to it. In denial. Delusional. People like to pretend it's a multicultural wonderland but that's a joke. As a female you can get raped on the train and no one will do anything, they'll just pretend not to see. Berlin has big problems ... Socially and economically. The only people who will enjoy Berlin are those wanting to live this faux alternative bohemian hipster "anti-capitalist" lifestyle. Beware of travel bloggers harping on about it, they are just looking to get views on their posts, since Berlin is a very hyped up city and the travel industry capitalizes on that. Don't recommend anyone to live in Berlin. If you want to visit to see the historical attractions (not much else to see or experience besides that tbh) just stay 3-5 days. That's all you need.
The lakes suck, wannsee is so packed in summer with boats people (they often have to shut the road as it's just too full. Weissensee is the most awful place I have ever been, the lake literally has a scum of suncream on its muddy waters, the gems like liepnitzsee are harder to get to, but still unbelievable busy, may as well jsut go to the Freibad (which are actually quite good).
The Parks would be better described as slightly managed fields, with bushes and trees, a few lame statues (turnvater Jahn anyone?) And many Junkies and promiscuous men disappearing into bushes, uncontrolled Mass barbecues (görli) or degrading bbq cages where twenty families can sit on top of each other on bare Dirt (preussenpark). And dog shit, heaps and heaps of dog shit.
As for so much of interesting, i agree with the previous dude, with a few exceptions, most buildings and streets are drab, grey, and uninspiring. Birmingham is more attractive a City than Berlin for sexual act sake!
Think you'll just leave the city for a day in the country side then? Welcome to Brandenburg, the Barren steppe of civilization. The buildings in these villages make Berlin seem like an architectural Dream, the people make Berliner seem cultures, and the Spreewald gherkin leaves one dreaming of Currywurst. If you like Flat Flat Flat fields, and Flat Flat forests, maybe you'll like it. Otherwise, prepare for dissapointment, or a very long Drive.
Berlin is a small City with little history Spanning further back than the 1900, Set in the flat featureless Wasteland of North East Germany. It is hours away from the next City, and worshipped by morons.
Stay away
OK, many buildings in the West are ugly but there are lots of lovely Altbau buildings in the city. Prenzlauer Berg springs to mind. As for lakes, there are many many lakes besides Wannsee. Lots of water and greenery compared to parched cities like Madrid. Plus space - wide streets, large fields, a lower population. Easy to cycle around by bike. Cafes everywhere. Quite low rent. Generally reasonable prices for most things. Great transportation system. OK, not so fond of the dog shit, the hipsters and crazy bums on the streets nor the rudeness of many locals
I've been here for over a decade, and I suppose I've integrated quite well into society.
I don't "have a laugh", I don't expect to hear people laugh or joke in public, and frown upon those who do.
I don't hold doors for women or the old, and I've learnt that offering a pregnant or old woman a seat is just not customary here.
I've developed the necessary "not unhappy, but not happy either" face- as I've discovered appearing happy is the sign of an idiot here.
Light conversation is now below me - proper Germans debate politics and the environment amongst friends in the most serious of ways, this is something I found challenging at first, but I've adapted, as one does when integrating into a new society.
My clothing has also adjusted appropriately - nothing beats a shirt tucked into some jeans with a suit jacket for important office work, but for those occasions when one really does need to dress up, I do ensure that my suit is suitably misfitted and preferably a delightful have of blue. Casualware is of course bland, cheap and unwashed, as is expected here
I also take a keen interest in current affairs, by watching for misbehaviour from my window, and promptly calling those delightful chaps from the ordnungsamt - it's a slippery slope, if you let folk walk on bike paths, park incorrectly, or cross lights on red, then the whole world will end quite quickly.
Im afraid to say, that the stereotypes, and a lot of the descriptions on this site are very true, but if you stick it out, you'll learn the ways of life here, and become a really useful member of the workforce.
I of course had it easier, stemming as I do, from a "respectable" foreign country. Those of you with darker skin, or simply less privileged lands, will first have to prove that you are capable of basic tasks like counting, following simple tasks and not stealing jobs before you can proceed to integrate further.
But it's worth it, life here is not super fun, but we're all really well insured, and so well regulated that you're very safe indeed.
How I read this: "As long as your are white and you come from a respectable country you can maybe, maybe be part of a culture that is bland but it's safe. Otherwise expect Germans to think you cannot even count because they don't like dark people, or Italian people, or Spanish people, well anything that is south of Germany."
To be fair, I worked with a (dark skinned) Brazilian once counting back returned rental items, there were a couple missing,and the customer actually turned to me, pointed at the Brazilian and said, "yeah, but can he even count". Needless to say, the Brazilian was pissed off
All the empty, dull, superficial people who go to live there to romanticize their senselessness, idolize the city as compensation for their own ignored sadness and longings.
In the summer its better, no?
The Lack of femininity is weird, they seem to take Great measures to lower the voice, stomp about, eat like pigs, cut their hair awkwardly and dress like shit, because of some vague perverted understanding of Feminism.
Just because you don't have to behave according to your gender doesn't mean you have to behave as if it were not your gender.