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hi berlinhater.
A year ago I had to go to court. This was because one night I went by my German ex’s house (who I hadn’t spoken to in over a month) completely intoxicated, rang all the doorbells and his neighbour let me upstairs. I had never gone by his house before unannounced. Ok, so have you ever done something really stupid because you were drunk and expect the person to understand? So I went to his door and began repeatedly ringing the bell. Wasn’t sure if he was home. Sat down in the floor. Tried again. Then the neighbour chases me outside. 5 minutes later, a police van arrives with TEN police getting out. I thought it was for someone else so I kept walking, but no, it was for me. They told me to go home. Fine. Woke up the next day and thought how strange it was , that he wouldn’t just answer the door and tell me to leave but instead call police ?
Fast forward two weeks, get a letter in the mail. He writes this story saying that I was stalking him, that I had made up a relationship in my head, and that everyday he thought I was outside of his house with a knife, waiting to murder him. He says I busted through the front door on the street (?!?!) and that I was scratching at the door with a knife.
The weirdest part was, I couldn’t tell if he had lost his mind because of his extreme drug use over ten years In berghain, or not, because in court (yes, I had to go to a German court, hire a lawyer and a translator)he was denying he said certain things he had written in the restraining order application. He also showed up to court wearing sandals, which my German lawyer thought was strange. At one point he began yelling at her because she “didn’t understand I was trying to murder him”. Needless to say the judge told him these were serious accusations and the charges got dropped . But the worst part of all this? His friend who I met him through, who is also German, turned on me (the auslander) blocked me everywhere and called me “abusive”. And that he was “nice”, and that I “needed serious help”. And never spoke to me again or wNted to hear my side of the story even when I approached them. And my two other German friends, completely unrelated to these people? Never saw them again either.
Just trying to understand, germans stick together by default if they’re friends, ok, this was a traumatic situation for me, and a waste of my time and money. But what the fuck, I mean seriously. Calling the police stopping by is firstly an overreaction, you don’t do that. You make yourself known or say “you’re drunk, go home”. But not even that. To lie and make up all these random accusations is just too crazy. But also, I could never tell if he just lost his mind. Thoughts ?
I’d also like to thank berlinhater for making me realize that this wasn’t just an isolated situation (I was very traumatized by this and by abandonment of my friend and called by them “an abuser”) but now I realize so many Germans operate this way, that it’s a good thing I left.
But the weirdest part of it all. He tried to work out a compromise that we would talk after six months with the court. I told the judge I never wanted to speak to him again. So he just made the restraining order mutual, that if he talked to me I could call the police. I have never met so many crazy people as I did in Berlin.
I would like to add something to this discussion that i've noticed and is related. In Berlin the general "distance" between people is bigger than elsewhere. What i mean by this is that there is a general acceptance that everyone should just get on with their poop by themselves and you can only approach people very slowly. So just normal behaviour like going round to see how someone is would be seen as massively clingly. There is this vibe of pretending you have no emotions and pretending you have this great cool life going on. But at the end of the day we are all just human beings and noone can go it all alone.
And in the context of this post i think that a behaviour that could be seen as a little overemotional and which shows you care a lot about someone in another town or country would be interpreted in berlin as hysterical and stalkerish for these reasons. There is just this general unspoken "Abstand" that is hard to get over. And i dont know where it comes from. Maybe just the fact that almost every microinteraction you have with service staff and people on public transport is brief and frosty. And these build up until their is an unbridgable gulf between people that is palpable.
you should call the police on someone for stopping by? sorry, but I don't understand. If someone stopped by my house because they were so drunk they couldn't walk properly (which never happened before) and I broke up on alright terms with them, I would just tell them to go home. And even if I called the police, I wouldn't make up some kind of strange story saying the person invented the relationship, was stalking me, and that was plotting to kill me with a knife, nor would I yell this in court repeatedly.
because the police just let me go. but he didn't stop at that, no, he had to invent some kind of crazy story to try to get a restraining order to punish me. meanwhile that was the first time I stopped by ever unannounced, even when we were dating, and it was only because I was drunk and I missed him. that's just an extreme thing to do. also, I never went back after he called the police, nor did I try to talk to him again, because I was shocked.
my understanding is stalking is repeated unwanted contacts with someone. not one thing out of the blue. and if the police are called and the person doesn't contact you or go back, its even stranger to then go online and fill out a form making up a crazy story trying to punish the person.
I don't know if he lost his mind or was trying to punish me, I cant figure it out. that's why I made the post on berlinhater.
and yes I agree that in berlin there is the thing of being alone and in a superficial place and getting on by yourself, but then why is everyone so unhappy and lonely. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, but I was severely "punished" by just doing something impulsive when drunk. but at least it showed me what kind of cold person I was dealing with, who would do something like that.
OP, I understand that you're hurting and you're trying to find an explanation but being German and in Berlin, as someone above said, has nothing to do with this all.
There's never one side of the story but I'll assume your version is the true one. Just move on, it didn't work out. Don't fixate with things that are unrelated and don't capitalise on his being German in this case, it's just a reaction he had, that's it.
His friends chose to stick by his side. Why do you care? They were not your friends.
Just let go and move on.
I was only posting it because it was one of the weirdest thing that happened in berlin, and seemed abnormal and cold for someone to do, as well as the reaction from the Germans around me. I haven't had people react that way before and just cut me off and get angry, for something so trivial such as stopping by a persons house. but because I've seen some other people writing here and I felt I understood why it happened now. I believe it was specific to berlin but anyway ill stop postig thanks for listening
Alcatraz isn’t open . Have you even been to the Bay Area? And what is so strange about going by someone’s house once unannounced ? I thought people on berlinhater were often able to think critically, instead they think someone calling cops and then writing a fake letter to them which resulted in me having to court is completely a normal thing to do . Maybe you have been in Berlin too long yourself.
Don't worry about the one weird guy here who keeps saying it's your fault - he always goes crazy when someone mentions that liberal lefty types are capable of anything despicable. Just read a few pages and you'll see how any post containing any criticism of lefties mysteriously garners tons of downvotes - more votes in fact than any other post in a given thread.
Anyway, if the Berlin police rolled in every time someone was a drunken nuisance then half the city would have been arrested by now. Obviously we don't know the full story but it sounds pretty German to me to be afraid to actually speak to someone. Ever see how weakly people in shops ask for help? "Ummm, e-excuse me, c-could you please maybe, when you get a chance, help me to perhaps find the beer?" Also seems to be common here to immediately call the cops on your neighbors if they're making too much noise rather than just ringing their bell and telling them to cool it.
Anyway, if I had to guess I would say he had his new gf at his place at the time and she was mad so he had to make up some kind of story to her about why you were there. He probably settled on the irrational stalker thing and she kept pushing him to take legal action. Probably massively whipped by a real Teutonian bride. On the other hand, maybe he really is losing his mind from all the casual sex in Berghain and an untreated syphilis/AIDS illness. Either way he sounds like a huge faggot.
"Honey you would go to Alcatraz for a year if you did that in SF - so get over "it was so weird"...."
This is the kind of weird horseshit that Germans always counter with. Over-the-top comparisons to America with some kind of extreme and bizarre false dichotomy. Wonder if the guy who posted it got lost here on his way to r/Berlin where all the true retards reside.
Nice reading comprehension, faggot.
OP specifically said "I should add this moron is a typical moron who is “left wing” activist but also against gentrification (against foreigners), yet calls POLICE . Hypocrites !"
Berlin probably is the perfect place for someone with an IQ below 90 such as yourself.
I'm the Op here and I don't really understand the majority of these comments. I think I've said what I need to say. If y'all think calling police on a person you know and making up an attempted murder story is a perfectly normal thing to do, I suggest you stay in Berlin and spare the rest of the world …
And no, he was there by himself I think. I considered the other girlfriend thing, but the way he acted with the yelling in court about a knife (he also showed up wearing birkenstocks) and all that, the judge asked him if he saw me with a knife and he said no, and he didn't see me anywhere, he just "thought" I was outside every night waiting for him for a knife.
that's really not normal. It's my crazy berlin story. anyway bye
PS: the other commenter who said something about Germans posting things on here re:alcatraz just confirmed for me what I was thinking. that this way he behaved was very German. Because where I am from you would never do that to someone you know. it just wouldn't happen and would be seen as "intense" and overkill to pursue something like that.
and I am not a danger to anyone. I'm a small woman weighing 115 lb and I don't even know how to fight, nor did I ever fight him. anyway he just got a mutual agreement, so he couldn't approach me. but the weirdest thing was how he asked in court for us to be able to talk after six months time, minutes after he accused me of trying to murder him. I saw him a few times after that. once was on the street and once was he was standing behind me in berghain. I didn't even make eye contact in court with him. nothing about this culture makes sense to me. why the fornicate would I ever want to talk to someone after they did something like that to me. crazy
We all have to leave this shithole. They will make the taxes even hight than now because of corona next year. It's so clear.
Let's face the truth, highest electricity prices, highest taxes, high rent for poop Appartments, and next year even more of all that.
Man leave the fucckk outta here
This site would NEVER exist berlinhater.de the German gov would shut it down. But even at .com, I wouldn’t be surprised if it mysteriously disappears one day. Yeah if you’re reading this site and thinkIng to move to Berlin. Just don’t.
I don’t understand anything about germans. They have several large and rich butt multinationals like Mercedes, and why is the public paying so much tax again? Where does it go exactly ?
They’re the biggest hypocrites I have ever encountered in a nation. It seems most nations function with a bit of warmth, and if not, some politeness. “Green energy” yet a large automotive industry. And the public are just puppets praising their nation.
But also being pro-environment and send all those useless letters when they could just send you an email?
When I opened my bank account the guy literally printed a book out!!! And for the next weeks, I kept receiving letters informing me of any single, irrelevant thing that we had discussed!
After I signed up for private insurance (because public insurance here is a massive ripoff and lower quality - if you're a freelancer then definitely leave that pyramid scheme as soon as possible) they sent me my entire policy in triplicate (one policy for health insurance, one policy for mandatory Pflegeversicherung). Okay I thought, I guess they have to do that. But then they sent it to me again every single year I guess because they made some tiny change to it. So a good German files all this trash and ends up with a literal room just full of paper...
One of the best things about leaving Berlin is not have crackhead German women who dress like they’re 65 at 20 in baggy clothes crash into me and scowl because I choose to take care of myself
Because they are uneducated in social graces. We learnt to not stare when we were kids. Remember your parents saying, "it's rude to stare". Teachers also reinforced this in schools. I am talking infants school. We learn not to do this at aged 4. Next time a 60+ year old hag or hound starts telling you off starting with "In Deutschland..." you think about that fact and chuckle inside.
They are all big kids, and this is just one of so many examples.
They’re not educated in what’s rude or not or what’s incest or not even. They don’t have that kind of moral compass in the culture
I was referring to women in their twenties dressing in baggy fisherman pants and massive shirts where you can’t see the body
So for that reason they scowl. And crash into people. It makes zero sense. Even my ex made fun of me once for doing my hair before we went on a date (note: it was simply flat ironed), and then proceeded to demand me to bike one hour to a restaurant , made fun of me because I thought it would ruin my hair. Idiot, what ? This was like the 4th date. It was the last.
One of the worst things about my time there was (I would still buy expensive stuff) getting scowled at and have this poop happen. Or worse, men don’t know how to behave around women who dress normally, so you just get extra awkward aggression from them. But actually the saddest thing was when I met some German men who were nice (like my accountant and coworkers, lawyer) they were just so shocked that I would smile and be nice to them, you could see they were really missing what a genuine person was like. I think even sadly some Germans are scarred from the way the manjority of the nation behaves and are really lacking something, that they will never have. It’s sad
He also made fun of me for wearing lingerie . He said “it seems like a lot of effort to put on” (it takes two seconds). Honestly I thought he was gay but he’s not, he’s just german and has backwards taste for that reason, because in Germany up is down and 2+2=5
There is some big misinformation going on that Germany has a lockdown happening. Berlin never “lockdown”
See the article
news.yahoo.com/should-americans-look-to-sweden-or-germany-as-models-for-combating-coronavirus-174132334.html
The international leftist press always praises Germany for some reason. They always have to mention Merkel has a degree (they leave out that it's from an East German diploma mill where you only had to show up and not question party ideology to graduate with a PhD).
@OP obviously you smoked crack for 100 days. Everything was closed, except essential shops. People were not allowed to gather in groups of more than the number of people in your household. One sunny weekend, the police went around to a park in one hood and made more than 2K giving 50 EUR tickets to people not adheering to social distancing rules.
Germans love laughing at people. They even try to provoke You so that you will react emotionally, so they can laugh at you more for having emotions. They’re really sick people. When I asked a German ex not to do things or say things on purpose that were rude he said “do you ever do something just because you know it bothers the other person?” And I thought he was psychopath. Now I come to berlinhater and I realize the whole culture is like that. Thanks, berlinhater
It’s funny because In North America we see people like this as not knowing how to behave like adults. It’s very rare when you meet them but we have a term for it , narcissist. Does the term narcissist even exist in the German language ? Isn’t narcissism and abuse just the default way of behaving ?
Hahaha yes that was what my exs did too!!!Even my german colleagues were not like that because they are not my boyfriends.But then this german became your very close people they act so wierd like that.tjey don't know how to care people you love.Wierd Sadists.
Government-mandated collectivism doesn't work because people rebel as much as humanly possible in private. It's why in Germany no one speaks to strangers and no German would ever offer to help you if you're ill or injured in public. But this kind of spectator sport of making fun of certain groups of people is just a way to hammer down nails that stick out too far.
Shut up about techno and paradise. That’s literally the only thing going for you, on repeat, that you have to keep proving it so badly. Berlin isn’t a paradise. That’s ONE aspect of living there.
Only in Germany would they have a toilet with a poo shelf so you can pick it up after and/or smell the entire house because Germans love the smell of their own poop
And then they pretend they don't have a feces fetish. Few years ago I came across some really long-winded article by some German who went through and tried to refute all the claims that Germany has a scat obsession. Also: Who the hell designs an apartment where there's no window in the bathroom and no active ventilation? I thought everyone here studied engineering - how is that even possible?
Germans can't handle AC because "it makes you sick" or "it gives you stiff muscles" or "it gives you a headache" or "it's inefficient" or, if you meet one who is actually honest, "residential electricity prices are too darn expensive in Germany". Okay, that last one would never be uttered by a German as they always find some way to not admit to any problems in Germany .
Ja genau we are zoh cheap ja ?
But the rest blindly believe it no questions asked
Almost passed out on summers in ubahn and doesn’t help when 80% of the female population even wears massive clothing in 30• heat. So can’t not otherwise random drug dealers will follow me home and scary German men will stare at me
We are almost at 4000 reasons to hate Berlin!
Does the German school system secretly teach children that they are above foreigners? Or is it coming from the family upbringing? Like keeping it a secret they are still Nazis but pretending not to be so their country can financially recover and people around the world can buy their stupid products or what
Its general society teaching you to live up to to a perfectionist ideal. Its kind of epitomised by that Schweinsteiger or Heidi Klum look. Blond hair blue, eyes, "perfect". But only in the eye of the beholder. Of course we dont meet that ideal and they make me sick.
I do believe it's taught from an early age starts at home with negative views through fellow family members and continues throughout school. Most schools are segregated just like the living bezirk areas of berlin either mostly german or strictly foreigners hardly ever really balanced out. you rarely see foreigners in leading,managing or teaching positions. So they make sure that their hateful mentality is represented everywhere in society
They really think they are always right . And they love to make fun and laugh at people when they have actually no factual arguments. They state their opinion as factS. These people are freaking insufferable
I stopped counting on how many times I wanted to hit my head to walls just because Germans don't (want to) understand things on the first time you explain. My experience is coming from working environment. They are white collar employees and I would have expected them to have basic cognitive abilities. I had to explain exact same things to exact same people so many times before they understood It.
They also have zero ability to transform their therotical knowledge to practise. They fail to adapt to changing conditions as well.
Feel like this sums up Germany pretty well and it's scientific :o)
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8312771/Male-coronavirus-patients-low-testosterone-levels-likely-die-COVID-19.html
"Of the male COVID-19 patients sent to ICU at the German hospital, more than two thirds (68.6 per cent) recorded low levels of testosterone. "
"In contrast, the majority of female patients (60 per cent) had elevated testosterone levels."
This is a message for any 'defensive German/Berliner/Nazi' commenting here along the lines of "If you don't like it here, LEAVE" or "We don't want you here" and so on:
What are you doing on berlinhater?? If London had a similar site with 3400+ bashings (which it doesn't...hmm...) would there be a sad brit lurking in there to defend it? Same goes for Paris...NY...and so on. These cities aren't perfect, far from it, but no one is full of this fantasy nonsense, "Berlin, du bist so Wunderbar"/ "Berlin, ich liebe dich'"etc. We know London has a pooping side. We have more empathy that it is tough to live somewhere as a foreigner, especially when the locals think you don't deserve to be in their 'utopia' ...cough.
Have you not considered people meet a German or Berliner abroad and have relationships and children and end up moving to Berlin? Have you not considered that your country funds arms and war equipment in the middle east and these refugees are coming here to escape your policies and actions? Have you not considered your countries position in colonisation/globalisation? This is me, as an englishman saying this... all Europeans have this blood on our hands...our histories... what possible right do you have to tell anyone to 'leave'???!!!
What the F are you doing revelling in 'scowling' at people?!
People in London say good and bad things about their city. Here in Berlin, utter a bad thing and it is almost breaking a taboo. Where does this defensiveness come from?
Many fellow Londoners complained to me (English and from abroad), and it didn't cross my mind to tell them leave... i.e. go home. Until you have lived as a real adult, and made commitments you will never understand how much courage, effort, money, time, and other complicated factors go into upping sticks and moving to another land...then having to do it even back to your own isn't just something where you snap your fingers and... we are locked down in contracts that auto roll over per 24 months for one thing!!!! Seems your companies are keen to take our (foreigners) money and employ us in the menial work you don't want or to fill the gaps in the skilled market, maybe you should take your argument up with them???
I just think you don't think.
You probably will never understand, perhaps you were born here and you will likely stay in Berlin your whole life and keep scowling at foreigners. I know you want the earth to stand still in the year 1999 and not progress so you can keep your never never land fantasy, and watch VHS videos and smoke inside buildings, and continue doing whatever you did in your teens... which is your choice... but the earth doesn't stop for anyone or country and you will be left behind. Your city is on borrowed time dipping into the pockets of the rest of Germany, whilst Germany dips into the pockets of the poorer EU countries thriving off their debt.
Germany pays ex-Stasi and other long-term unemployables to crawl the internet and make these kinds of posts. That's why they somehow show up in every single thread about hatred for Berlin/Germany. Mention the word "Zersetzung" anywhere online and within an hour or two you'll have replies by someone from Germany's massive network of Brown Astroturf. I don't care if this sounds like a stupid conspiracy theory because it's true.
Weak Characters - Jealousy - Inferiority Complex
It is evident that you cannot return to your homeland and you are broken in Germany.
Brexit hammered the last nail into the coffin of the UK - now it is just an ill and limping mongrelized non-state.
As for the other EU trash here who could not excel in their native countries and possess neither skills nor literacy even in their mother tongue let alone any other language, they have been coming here to do the low level work ( or rather not do it, because they take Harz 4 ), then hate US for it !
Of course this breeds contempt and results in jealousy of us, your host people.
Now with an inferiority complex swirling in the back of your minds and voices in your heads, you walk the streets of Berlin and because you realize you are here for no good reason you enlist the usual cliches to vilify us Germans - you only show how terribly weak your characters are and what simple minds you possess. You all have bad Karma and are paying for it !
You will not able to advance here and you did not investigate the standards and situation of this Nation State BEFORE settling here.
You will be removed eventually, it is only a matter of time. But if I were you I would leave of my own accord before you are forced out with scars.
Lol Berlin is a joke. Why would we be jealous of some third world country, where everyone is on welfare or drugs thinking they are progressive, drug dealers everywhere and pooping negative attitude- and the worst cuisine of all of Europe? And the worst fashion sense ? You’re white trash.
And there is no “advancing”’in Berlin. You sound like a know it all german. You don’t know it all and your city sucks. We are trapped here thanks for your pooping wages. And the whole world will know how cunts you are soon enough, you learned nothing from the Holocaust. You people just love hating on others. That’s why we hate and generalize you, for making our lives miserable for no reason!
If you ever want to leave your “paradise” Berlin (LOL, you wouldn’t because it’s the only place that would take you) , you’ll find it shocking racism and xenophobia isn’t allowed at the workplace and can even land you in court or jail. And you would have to treat colleagues and especially customers with respect, otherwise you’d be fired.
Lazy trash
I left Berlin in the middle of 2018, stayed there for 2 years with the whole package (shitty underpaid job, crazy cheater german boyfriend, crazy nazi degenerate roomate, party drug friends), + bonus of depression, anxiety, health issues (some of that i still have now), now i live in Seville, in the south of Spain, i have a peaceful life, a job that i like but not really good paid but sun, and nice people. I still have trauma from Berlin, and come here from time to time to remind me what i've been through and that i was not the only one, actually this site made me stay mentally sane. So my question is, for the ones who left Berlin, where are you now and how is it going? Do you still have symptoms of your life in Hell? Funny thing is i somehow wanted to go back to learn german, as i'm working in the art world, i kinda lost it speaking spanish, but i'm so traumatized by germans, that by just hearing the language it just block me from speaking it or learning it again. I'm that traumatized. And everytime a see a german person on art documentaries, tv etc i can't stop linking it to Berlin and to my past there. I guess it's gonna take few more years to erase the trauma... how has it been for you since you left?
4 months now for me and I'm totally over big cities, I've moved to a big town in Australia and loving it, very friendly people, clean air, no traffic jams, no pretence, just easy going lifestyle. I'm totally over Berlin until I hear one of them talking, then, I must admit, I do get a shudder down my spine, but it goes away quick enough now. I miss nothing about that shiiithole. By the way, the women are just as crazy as the guys. Weirdest culture I've ever experienced and I've traveled around the world 7 times.
I wish you a wonderful future.
3 years for me. Moved back to the UK. I now live in a city under 1 million people, salary has doubled, tax is lower, have a seaside apartment (own, not rent), still go out, work out more and have better friends.
The biggest reliefs are not having to hear about pointless side projects from deluded expats or seeing the look of complete despair on every locals face.