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Had a date with a german girl. She told me that I am the funniest man she ever met.
It says so much about germans.
I AM NOT FUNNY AT ALL
Germans are so funny though, don't you remember all those hilarious German comedy films and all the German comedians that make it big in other countries?
Typical German comedy sketch:
- Skinny but ugly middle-aged blonde with pink lipstick enters kitchen and starts smearing butter on bread.
- Woman: "Schatzi, was möchtest du auf deinem Brot haben?"
- Man (from other room): "Ach Uschi," (audience starts cracking up) "Wie wär's mit einer Scheibe Wurst?"
- Woman: "Rolf!!! (laughter in audience grows louder) "Du weißt, dass wir keine Wurst mehr kaufen können seit wir Hausverbot bekommen haben..."
- Ugly, fat, half-bald German enters room naked (audience laughter so loud you can barely hear dialog). "Dann essen wir heute Eigenwurst mit Eiern!" *sticks penis and balls on bread*
- (Audience loses its poop and some dumb graphic appears of a man pissing on a swastika)
German humor doesn't exist.
U know why? To understand and have humor u need the ability to think irrational and outside of the box. Germans are not able to do that. That's the reason they don't have any sense of humor and don't understand the humor of other countries. They found their own humor what only they feel. Fookin creeps
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
Broken glass everywhere
People pissin' on the stairs, you know they just don't care
I can't take the smell, can't take the noise
Got no money to move out, I guess I got no choice
Rats in the front room, roaches in the back
Junkies in the alley with a baseball bat
I tried to get away but I couldn't get far
Cause a man with a tow truck repossessed my car
[Chorus]
Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to lose my head
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
Standin' on the front stoop hangin' out the window
Watchin' all the cars go by, roarin' as the breezes blow
Crazy lady, livin' in a bag
Eatin' outta garbage pails, used to be a homosexual hag
Said she'll dance the tango, skip the light fandango
A Zircon princess seemed to lost her senses
Down at the peep show watchin' all the creeps
So she can tell her stories to the girls back home
She went to the city and got so so seditty
She had to get a pimp, she couldn't make it on her own
[Chorus]
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
My brother's doin' bad, stole my mother's TV
Says she watches too much, it's just not healthy
All My Children in the daytime, Dallas at night
Can't even see the game or the Sugar Ray fight
The bill collectors, they ring my phone
And scare my wife when I'm not home
Got a bum education, double-digit inflation
Can't take the train to the job, there's a strike at the station
Neon King Kong standin' on my back
Can't stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac
A mid-range migraine, cancered membrane
Sometimes I think I'm goin' insane
I swear I might hijack a plane!
[Chorus]
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
My son said, Daddy, I don't wanna go to school
Cause the teacher's a jerk, he must think I'm a fool
And all the kids smoke reefer, I think it'd be cheaper
If I just got a job, learned to be a street sweeper
Or dance to the beat, shuffle my feet
Wear a shirt and tie and run with the creeps
Cause it's all about money, ain't a darn thing funny
You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey
They pushed that girl in front of the train
Took her to the doctor, sewed her arm on again
Stabbed that man right in his heart
Gave him a transplant for a brand new start
I can't walk through the park cause it's crazy after dark
Keep my hand on my gun cause they got me on the run
I feel like a outlaw, broke my last glass jaw
Hear them say "You want some more?"
Livin' on a see-saw
[Chorus]
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
A child is born with no state of mind
Blind to the ways of mankind
God is smilin' on you but he's frownin' too
Because only God knows what you'll go through
You'll grow in the ghetto livin' second-rate
And your eyes will sing a song called deep hate
The places you play and where you stay
Looks like one great big alleyway
You'll admire all the number-book takers
Thugs, pimps and pushers and the big money-makers
Drivin' big cars, spendin' twenties and tens
And you'll wanna grow up to be just like them, huh
Smugglers, scramblers, burglars, gamblers
Pickpocket peddlers, even panhandlers
You say I'm cool, huh, I'm no fool
But then you wind up droppin' outta high school
Now you're unemployed, all non-void
Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd
Turned stick-up kid, but look what you done did
Got sent up for a eight-year bid
Now your manhood is took and you're a Maytag
Spend the next two years as a undercover fag
Bein' used and abused to serve like hell
Til one day, you was found hung dead in the cell
It was plain to see that your life was lost
You was cold and your body swung back and forth
But now your eyes sing the sad, sad song
Of how you lived so fast and died so young so
[Chorus]
It's like a jungle sometimes
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under
whenever i hear that song i also have to think of berlin BUT new york in the 70s and 80s was probably much better than berlin now. after all, depite all the poop happening they had culture. grandmaster flash, blondie, ... there was SOMETHING going on. here, nothing but poop is happening.
Has anyone here lived both in Berlin and Barcelona? I’m moving to Barcelona and hope I will like it. I have a Berlin-trauma
I was going to do the same before COVID, I also have several Berlin traumas. I’ve escaped out of Europe for now. I don’t think now is a good time to go to Barcelona. The economy is already bad and they are in stricter lockdown. But if you have savings try Going in the country in Spain until the pandemic blows over.
I grew up in Berlin and was put on Ritalin from the age of eight to sixteen. My parents were immigrants. In 2016 I moved to Barcelona, spent 3 years in the city and now it’s my second year in small coastal town in Tarragona right by the sea. Vitamin D and the Mediterranean people will ease the the Berlin trauma!!!
It’s me again, the Ritalin kid:
Yes totally, remember as long as you don’t move to Ciutat Vella(El Raval - people like to call it the Kreuzberg of Barcelona, so you know what to expect, El Born and El Gótico) you won’t have to worry.
In other words If I would have to move back to Barcelona from the coastal village I live in now I wouldn’t mind at all to live at Camp de l’Arpa. ;-)
Bon voyage!
youtu.be/T7YJoGXs2i8
Things that are good about berlin : nightlife
things that are bad about berlin:
no money, high tax
draconian laws, no freedom of speech
angry people everywhere trying to tell you how to think and behave
shitty long winters
chance of getting attacked randomly on street are high\
racism and xenophobia
everything expensive when you make no money
no way to find a happy relationship
friends are fickle and self interested
people dying all the time because of drug overdose or suicide
germans
homelessness, cant find an apartment
endless bureaucracy for every little thing
mentally unstable people everywhere
evil butt vibe leftover from historical issues
heaps and heaps of traumatic experiences and traumatized individuals with Stockholm syndrome
morally corrupt, sexual assault and poop like that goes unpunished, but someone on ebay kleinenzeigung messages me asking the exact thickness of the rug I am selling, as if that poop really matters. OCD and anal retentive about mundane things, but when it comes to real issues that need solving, absent and dismissive
Jesus christ. The nightlife is feckin horrible. Every bar contains crappy 2nd hand furniture illuminated by candles. Don't get me started on the chain smoking inside. F Berlin and F its nightlife. Give me a decent bar overlooking the ocean... hell I don't know, somewhere like The Bungalow, Camps Bay, Cape Town. Watching the sunset in one of the most beautiful parts of the world whilst sipping on a decent drink beats watching Hanz masturbate in Kit Kat.
For those who left Berlin. What are your friends like years later? Did most of them stay or leave ?
Berliners can diss USA but it’s clear none of them could ever cut it or have the money or mentality.... yeah your country is soooooooooooo great.... y’all are stuck in year 2000 maximum
Germans became obsessed with anti-Americanism again the second Donald Trump got elected because here it's only publicly acceptable to punch upward. It's why you'll see news orgs here use words like "incompetence" and "pathetic failure" about the U.S. response to covid while using words like "resilient" and "coordinated" when referring to Italy. It's the result of a convoluted thought process that has degenerated into believing frameworks and theories that fly in the face of reality. It's driven by ideologically driven academism with methodologies so flawed that their results "aren't even wrong" - things like the World Happiness Report where Scandinavian countries always win despite high rates of alcoholism and suicide and Transparency international where they literally rank countries by what people think of them. Or how about the WHO report that claimed that that France and Italy had the best-ranked health systems in the entire world ("Measuring Overall Health System Performance for 191 Countries", p. 18).
How do you know the people that are pushing Americanism are feeble minded ideologues? Because they don't care about injustice when their criticism is about their own country/EU 0% of the time.
What kind of food do germans eat? Just saw my ex eat 6 brötchen for breakfast
What is the legal situation of abortion in Germany, it’s illegal by 3 years jail but you need to get a consultancy for it to happen?
I freaking hate this country
I freaking hate being stuck in this freaking city during corona. The situation is the same around the globe, but here the people are just shit. I'd much rather be in a place where I can respect the people, it would make the corona craze more bearable. Here, wherever I go there is poop around (it calls itself human)
What is the average life expectancy of a Berliner, 16? I meant in mental years. At what age does the brain die inside the head
We all should meet when corona is over and do a BBQ and then drink and fight.
Would be fun
Friendships in Berlin end when you stop entertaining a person
Do you think Berlin has scarred you for life? Do you think it’s possible to recover? How long does it take?
Every year, hundreds of thousands of old sick people die from the flu. Anyone who believes that CV-19 is any more than a flu, probably believed USA generals about Viet Nam, they probably believe that the World Trade centre buildings were not controlled demolitions, or that a lone nut killed JFK and another lone nut killed John Lennon. So many naive people coming out of the woodwork with hyper hype about CV-19, and the suckers lap it up. It's a flu, baby.
"I didn’t know Bolsonaro hated Berlin too."
Don't be retarded, Bolsonaro isn't the only person who doesn't really believe the hype surrounding covid. Look no further than the comments section of any article on Spiegel Online and you'll see plenty of people questioning it.
Wtf is this, if you insult a police they fine you this???
www.bussgeldkatalog.org/beleidigung-im-strassenverkehr/
Apparently if you address as Du instead of Sie they can charge you €600
Fucking idiot pigs. Come for me now bitch!
Are you just now seeing that this country has draconian laws? How about that time the Berlin police got a search warrant for some random old man's apartment where they confiscated his electronics because he... posted a swastika somewhere online.
www.berlin.de/aktuelles/berlin/4297004-958092-hakenkreuze-im-internet-polizei-durchsuc.html
Clown country.
I always have that discussion with people as I use "du". For me respect is not about "sie" or "du" but about how you talk to someone and how you treat them. Germans want to be addressed with "sie" because it makes them feel superior whilst the "du" is more even. They hate being even. Honestly, we should be addressed with "your royal highness" by these German shits.