...
What is making Berliners suck? Dosenpfand. That's right. Nothing's as fricking refreshing as an ice-cold Coke or a beer straight out of the dang can.
Ok ,,i have deliberated ,,,,for a long time ,,,about posting here ,,,,,,,but the moment arrived ,,,,where i HAVE TO vent !!!
,,There are some great things in the city ,,,,clearly ,,,and everyone reading here ,,,,is also aware of what those things are ,,,,so i wont bother going into it ,,,,,BUT ,,,,,,( where do i start ),,
i think i will adress my thoughts on this place ,,,,from the point of view of spirituality and soul !!!( deep mannnnn!!! )......
as a human being ,,,,we all need some kind of balance ,,,,,like a healthy dinner ,,,has ,,a ,,,starter ,,,main course ,,and a dessert !!! ,,,,,Each of these plates ,,,are only enjoyable ,,,,as part of the whole jigsaw ,,,,one balances out the other ,,,,,the sweet tasting desert ,,,tastes so good ,,,AFTER ,,,,you have had your plate of nourishing meat ,,2 veg ,,,etc,,,,,,a dinner of only desserts ,,,,7 days a week ,,,,would make you very very sick !!! :) ,,,
When you are a child ,,,,your parents ,,,,refuse to let you have your sweets ,,UNTIL you have had your healthy ,,sustenance food first !!! ,,,
And as a child ,,,,when your parents ,,,,refuse you that sweet stuff ,,,
You sulk ,,,cry ,,shout ,,,and get nasty !!!
And simply put ,,,,this is what Berlin is for me ,,,,
One big plate ,,of sticky ,,preservative added ,,artificial flavoured ,,vitamin free ,,false ,,fake,,topping laden ,over sweetened ,,over produced ,,poisoning ,,desert ,,,,,the food you parents wanted to keep you away from ,,,kos ,,,,they understood ,,,,that if you mainlined that stuff ,,,WITHOUT real food to balance ,,,,,you would become ILL!!!,,,
And as boring ,,,as disciplined ,,as controlling ,,as your parents were ,,,as much as it might have felt they were " ruining your party " ,,,,,and it made you run to your bedroom ,,,throw on ur stereo and sulk ,,,,deep down ,,,,,your parents ,,,wanted what was best for you ,,,they wanted you to be WELL ,,,,,they wanted you to be HAPPY ,,,they wanted you to be HEALTHY ,,,,,they wished you the BEST !!!!,,,
It might not have felt like that at the time ,,,and you might have felt a desire to break free from this " opression " ,,,,your parent s " inflicted on you,,,,,,and probably when you are still 18 ,,,19 ,,,20,,,,,you probably still are rebelling against what you feel ,,,was ,,,somone " TAKING YOUR RIGHTS AWAY " !!!! :) ,,,,,, But ,,,,,
Its these people ,,,who had your best interests at heart ,,,,and when one becomes more emotionally mature ,,,and has a bit of life experience ,,,one can truely appreciate how much ,,,NOT being allowed that sticky bun ,,,,,not being allowed to smoke weed all day in your bedroom ,,,,not being allowed to mainline cocaine ,,,,not being allowed to never work ,,,never study ,,never plan ,,,,never clean up after yourself ,,,etc etc ,,,,,all of these things ,,,you FELT like doing ,,,,but these authoritarian figures DENIED you from doing ,,,,,its only with time ,,,,,you start to realise ,,,,,it was a GOOD THING ,,,,that my family didnt raise me like that ,,,,and although rules can be boring ,,,,and restrictive ,,,,some rules are necessary ,,,to be happy !!!
A dog ,,,without some kind of lead ,,,will eventually run after a car ,,,and get knocked down ,,,,
A dog without a lead will eventually eat so much food he vomits ,,
A dog without a lead ,,will eventually start to eat its own tail !!! :)
And the point ,,,of my long, windabout rant ,,,,,is ,,,,for me ,,,this is exactly the darn problem with this town !!!! ,,
It offers all the freedoms that come ,,,,from that " wild weekend " away from Mum and Dad ,,,,or the high school head master ,,,,or choose the authoritarian figure of choice !!! ,,,
Its the ultimate " FORNICATE YOURSELF " city ,,,,for anybody ,,,who wants or needs to revolt against ,,,a feeling of being trapped ,,controlled ,,,limited by wherever they came from !!!! ,,,
And most of us ,,,who are here ,,,probably ,,,are trying to escape something ,,,,or someone ,,or even ourselves !!!
So in the beginning ,,,its paradise !!!
And every " newbie " feels like this ,,,,the allure of freedom,,endless nights getting wasted ,,,loud pumping music ,,,cheap beer ,,drugs on demand ,,sex on tap ,,,,,all seems like paradise no ???
And for a tourist ,,,,probably ,,,,yeahhhhhhhhhh!!! ???
But ,,,
To live here ????
Its leaves a huuuuuge ,,gaping ,,,empty hole ,,,that CANNOT be filled ,,,,
A daily diet of NOTHING ,,,
A limited ,,restricted ,,,daily dose ,,,,of one option from a menu ,,,,with zero choice in terms of people ,,culture ,,music ,,,,and especially ,,,and most importantly ,,of THOUGHT !!! ,,,
There is one rule ,,,,for the entire city ,,,,and it makes no difference where u come from ,,or what colour you are ,,,this particular party ,,,,has one set of rules before you are allowed to enter ,,,and these same rules MUST be followed once you are here !!,,,,,,To attempt to contradict these rules ,,,have another way of thinking ,,,living ,,feeling ,,seeing things ,,,doing things ,,,attitude ,,,points of view ,,any of these things are CRIMES ,,,,and are a full ATTACK on the city and its inhabitants ,,,
To even possibly suggest to anyone here,,,,that maybe ,,,just maybe ,,,Berlin ,,is NOT so ,,ahmmm,,,,,OPENMINDED ,,???? not so ,,,,FREE ??? not necessarily the GREATEST CITY IN THE PLANET ?? ,,,,that there might be perhaps a few FLAWS TO THE CITY ??? ,,,or that you simply arent feeling all that good here ,,,,,ANY of these things ,,,is an attack ,,,on the fundamental BRAINWASHING of the inhabitants of the place ,,,,,and ,,,i must point out ,,im not knocking the Germans on this ,,,,im knocking the whole place ,,,and anyone and everyone who has been hypnotised by the propaganda of the city itself ,,,its like a special badge you must put on once you start living here ,,,u must recite 3 times a day ,,,how amazingly darn cool you are,,,,how you are living in the coolest place in the world ,,,and how grateful you should be for having the chance to be in the most amazingly cool place ,,,with the coolest of cool people ,,,,
Sadly ,,,,,ALL of these things are not true AT ALL !!!
Because ,,,,,,
As i started ,,,,YES it has some good things ,,,,
However ,,,,
Every place has some good things ,,,,
The REAL problem is ,,,,
IT IS UNWILLING TO ACCEPT THE FACT IT HAS BAD THINGS ,,,
ITS RESIDENTS ARE UNWILLING TO ACCEPT ITS BAD THINGS
ITS UNWILLING TO CHANGE OR ADAPT OR COMPROMISE
ITS PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO CHANGE OR ADAPT OR COMPROMISE
ITS UNWILLING TO BE HONEST TO ITSELF ,,
ITS RESIDENTS ARE UNWILLING TO BE HONEST TO THEMSELVES ,,
IT HAS A CHILDS WAY OF ACCEPTING TRUTH ABOUT ITSELF ,,
ITS RESIDENTS HAVE A CHILDS WAY OF ACCEPTING TRUTH ABOUT THEMSELVES
ITS STUCK IN A GROUNDHOG DAY WHERE IT IS HALF ASLEEP REFUSING TO WAKE UP AND FEEL REAL EMOTIONS
And its residents are stuck in the same way ,,,stuck in the emotional maturity of a 14 year old ,,,,yet with the attitude ,,,of ,,,I AM THE SMARTEST ADULT ,,,( which is how any foolish teenager might think ,,,,,yet one would expect more ,,from an actual adult !!!:) ,,,,
This city has broken me down ,,,sooooooooo many times ,,,,and has hurt every single last piece of me ,,,
It has made me question my sanity ,,my past ,,my future ,,,my present ,,,the state of the planet ,,,
Living here has made me feel negative feelings to a point where i physically feel ill and sometimes believe im dying of various ,,endless diseases ,,,!!!!:)
I feel i have bent over backwards to give and adapt and compromise myself ,,in ways i never did in any other place i have been ,,,,like trying to please an abusive lover ,,,,to no avail :(,,,,
I think the city has also damaged me in some ways,,,that i really hope are not forever and that can be " fixed " sometime in the future ,,sumwhere else,,,,,i hope !!!:)
I think the city has left my faith in humanity ,,,and in the future in ruins,,,,,,which i again hope sometime in the future i can fix ,,,sumwhere else !!!:),,,
i have seen ,,heard ,,experienced things here ,,,,that are so incredibly LOW ,,,and i repeat that word LOW ,,,low in thought ,,,behaviour ,,feeling ,,,depth ,,,that it surprised and educated me ,,,that it was even possible ,,,,???
i have witnessed here ,,,human interactions that i believed COULD NOT POSSIBLY exist in this universe ,,that have left me stunned and shocked and saddened ,,,,,:(
And i think i could continue for the next 3 weeks just bleeding out my heart ,,about how this city has affected me ,,,,but ,,,the final " charm" of the place is ,,,,that no matter how incredibly crap you are feeling ,,,,,the people around you are so preoccupied with themselves ,,,OR so out of it mentally ,,,,you feel there is NO POINT ,,,in trying to even relate your feelings or express them to anyone ,,,,because back to the " RULEBOOK " ,,,connecting in any real ,,way ,,,as HUMANS SHOULD ,,,is completely VERBOTEN !!!! :)
I apologise to any one reading this ,,,,because everything i write here ,,is probably stuff i should be explaining to a shrink !!!:)And who knows ,in the future ,,,maybe i will be ,,,,,
But ,,,at the same time ,,,i think anyone who is even on this site ,,,,kinda gets what im talking about ,,,,and probably feels the same way ,,,,,which is really really sad ,,,,:( because life is so precious ,,,and none of us ,,,should be feeling this way ,,,,
I will finish by saying ,,this ,,,everything i am expressing ,,,is my take ,,,on the negative sides of being here ,,,,
but a fair defense ,,,,to everything i rant ,,,,
is ,,,," IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS ??? IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT BAD HERE ??? WOT DA F@@@@@K ARE YOU DOING HERE ??? WHY DONT YOU GET THE F@@K OUT ???"
And i think ,,,thats very fair ,,,,because nobody is MAKING any of us stay here ,,,and if it was my city ,,,,,,i would think its very unfair that all these people who are complaining about it ,,,and criticising it ,,,,are a bunch of D#@Cks,,,,,,,,so on that one ,,,,,yes ,,,i will take full responsibility ,,,,,
That is my fault
Not Berlins :) !!! ,,,
And perhaps ,,,under all the complaining ,,,any of us are doing here ,,,,
Maybe thats the point ,,,,,????
That only this city ,,,
Can rip out our insides SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much ,,,
That we reach for these questions
About ourselves ,,????
Life ??
The future ??
The past ???
Where we are going ???
Who we really are ???
Maybe this is the point ,,,,that in staying here ,,,,although it feels like a constant endless suffering ,,,
It must be giving some answers ,,,to something no ???:) ,,,,or maybe this is me trying to fool myself into finding some justification to wot da hell i am still doing here ??? ?:) i just dont know !!!:)
I just wish everybody here to know ,,,,you are not alone ,,,,and i think like some kind of " Fight Club " ,,,,,we are an underground movement of people ,,,who deeply feel and think stuff ,,,,that the majority ,,,here,,,,seem to be incapable of ,,,,and it truely does help to realise ,,,,,,nahhhhh,,,,,you are not insane ,,,,there are others who feel 100 per cent what you are feeling ,,,,,and there is some hope left :)!!!!
I wish everybody here ,,finds their way ,,,,survives it all somehow ,,,,without picking up too much damage ,,,too much pain ,,,to much madness on the way ,,,,and that whenever that day is ,,,,that we will all be happier with everything happier ,,brighter ,,,lighter ,,,and more shiny ,,,,with more hope and joy !!! :) Because it DOES ,,,,exist !!!,,,,,Somewhere,,,,just perhaps not here !!!:) ,,,,Anyways ,,,,thanks for your patience ,,,,and i wish strength and power and luck to everyone ,,,,and maybe even a thank you to Berlin also ,,,for allowing us be here ,,,and have these thoughts and feelings ???,,,,
One thing I notice is...
Everyone here is very fluent in English. I assume lots of Americans?
Guys...I understand how you feel about Berlin. And about Germans. I REALLY do. I feel it too. But I also tell myself that its a cultural issue. If we were born here, we would be ok. And its not nice to throw all Germans in a pot and brand them as cold, hipsters and loosers.
They are not.
I guess I am trying to say I get you, but let's not think so black and white? Just my 5 cents.
OP, - the issue here is that this is a cultural norm. It's like going to the US and hey, there are a lot of fat people, you cant deny this. If you go to france, there are a lot of people who know a ton about cheese. You cant deny this. In both cases there are also people who are not fat and don't know about cheese.
Same thing with Germany - there are A LOT of passive aggressive, racist, and gloomy people here. Not all of them - I've met a lot of great germans. But the majority of them are very hard to like.
Message from a founder:
I just want to say thanks to all the people who have posted on this website over the years, even the fanboys. Reading your comments over the years has allowed me to realize the efforts I put into understanding these people, this city and this culture was truly wasted and to stop trying.
I find it now comedic and have a good laugh with each of your contributions.
We are not alone
my deepest thanks
Thank you for building this platform. It feels like going to a good psychotherapist (more a group therapy actually) after years of silent personal struggle. And although the title is berlinhater, it's actually more about the return of positive feelings after being dragged down by the general state of mind of this city.
I should preface by stating that I am no longer living in Berlin. You’ll excuse the length of this rant but I just need to vent.. I managed to escape before losing my sanity, and now I proudly live in a city somewhere in the southern hemisphere.
Berlin seems to me like the kind of place you go to to do whatever you want, as long as it is degenerate and abnormal. It’s not a place you move to if you want to make money, friends and enjoy life.
If you’re gay (or LGTWZKLP1249), a vegan hipster, a drug-addicted loser, a leftist who doesn’t want to work or generally a person who doesn’t like doing anything productive, you belong in Berlin. The aforementioned people are usually quite empty and damaged inside, so their emotional state remains unaffected by the city. If your brain is unable to entertain truly deep, alternative thoughts, you are welcome in Berlin. If you’re an angry, frustrated racist person who blames foreigners for everything wrong in his life, you’re ironically also welcome in Berlin.
If you want to become the ugliest, most despicable version of yourself, move to Berlin. Get face tattoos, tunnels, nose rings, dye your hair red or blue, develop an addiction to that awful-tasting Berliner Pilsener, shower once a week, listen to pooping techno…that’s what people believe can be considered “alternative lifestyle”. Being an emasculated tree hugger who drinks Club Mate all the time, is vegan, left-wing, “tolerant” and is proud of being a cuckold stuck in an open-relationship is not being alternative, it is the rule in this godforsaken city.
If anything, being conservative and normal here is being alternative and counter-culture. Getting a job, going to church, being committed to another person in a monogamous relationship, being polite, kind, virtuous, traditional, respectful and well-mannered is what will set you apart from the average Berliner, and they’ll hate you for it.
People here want to drag you down to their level. The whole city is like a giant crab bucket.
But of course, these people like to talk about “freedom”. They’re “free” only because there is a nanny state that caters to your needs, so it’s fine to be in your late 20’s or even late 30’s or even late 40’s and still be dependant on social welfare for everything. They don’t know what it is like to pay for school and university or for healthcare. These “free” Berliners are also dependant on their cigarettes, cheap beer, schnapps, and anti-depression meds. That’s not freedom.
There is no real freedom in Germany, because a nation that is so dependant on rules and “Ordnung” is void of the freedom of thought required to guarantee real freedom. Germans hate Americans because they know within themselves they can never reach, much less surpass the success of the USA, a success that is most likely the result of a mix of freedom of thought and a constant strive to innovate.
Good luck with your innovative ideas, and free-thinking spirit in Germany.
Some of you think that the unfriendliness, rudeness, lack of polite manners and in general awful behaviour is a Berliner problem, but I dare to say it’s in general a German one. German behaviour is for the most part childish. Yes, “childish” is the word that can best describe the way a lot of German adults behave. Throwing temper tantrums for petty reasons (“NEIN, NEIN, NEIN! DAS GEHT SO NICHT! ) is the kind of thing you’d expect a spoilt, badly raised child to do.
I am 29 and child-free. Several frustrated expats on this website are tied to the city due to the fact that they made the mistake of dating a German woman, and even worse: impregnating her. It never occurred to me to date a German woman. Most of the ones I saw in Berlin were either:
-Overweight
-Downright ugly as per own personal choice: unnecessary accesoires such as piercings, tattoos and tunnels.
-Single mothers (never date one, really)
-Too dumb to be alive
-Not feminine
-Had an awful attitude
The only good-looking ones had unrealistic standards, and were caked up most of the time. No, thanks. I’ve had better when I was travelling across the Eastern side of the world.
It’s no wonder Germany has such a low birthrate. Most men are passive-aggressive, emasculated vegetarians who absolutely lack charm and a confident sense of masculinity. Most women are passive-aggressive, repulsive career-obsessed creatures who lack charm and real femininity.
The German obsession with cleanliness (Sauberkeit) is also something I never understood, but even more puzzling is the fact that a lot of the people who have been to Germany (and not just the ones on Berlinhater.de) complain about the Germans lack of personal hygiene and body odor.
By the way, currywurst with fries is not a delicacy. It’s just a stupid sausage swimming in ketchup with some curry on top and fries to go along with it. If that’s the signature “dish” of your city and you’re proud of it, you should consider suicide. But living in Berlin is just a very slow, ineffective way to kill oneself, anyway.
These days, muslims are the public enemy number 1 in Germany yet, ironically enough, some of the few normal, friendly people I met in Berlin were muslims. You can’t blame them for not wanting to integrate into modern German “culture”, which is a bad copy of the American pop culture: being a single mom, having body modifications, being miserable and a slave to whatever TV tells you to do. If I were condemned to live in Germany, I’d probably just hang out with non-Germans. Or I'd kill myself in the end.
The two years I spent in Berlin felt like an eternity and trust me, it was enough. I felt such a relief as I was sitting on the plane on the way home. I felt truly free once I landed on American soil. I saw people genuinely laughing, being polite, being alive. I almost broke down after embracing family members. My body and my soul had forgotten what it is like to feel the warmth of another human being, warmth that is genuine.
Germans think that their rudeness, lack of manners and politeness is just them being “direct” and “straight to the point”. Maybe one day they’ll realize that you can be direct without offending other people. It’s not just one or two expats or tourists who complain about that awful behaviour. It’s almost everyone. That says something.
Fuck Berlin. And fornicate you if you think it’s the best city in the world.
Completely agree with this. I lived in the Caribbean for a little while before moving to Berlin... people were happy, laughing, smiling, dancing, each person had their own personality and were not carbon copies of one another, many of them not having much wealth at least by western standards, yet I believe they were far "richer" than so many in Germany. Germany is a wealthy country but the people are unhappy, cold and emotionally/mentally "poor", they have no personality, are copies of one another, and go as far as to be hostile to people who are happy or have a personality.
Great summary, AngryAnon. Agree with you all the way. I'm still in Berlin, but not for long.
I can't stress how right you are about the friendliness of "auslanders" in Germany. The best and warmest interactions with other humans that I've had have been with Turks, Vietnamese, Poles, and some other expats. These people smile, joke - and if we can't communicate due to a language barrier - they quickly try to use gestures or pen and paper to figure things out (compare that to a regular German who either starts ignoring you are starts saying the same thing by LOUDER).
Also, same thing happened to me when I went to the UK and US on a short visit, except that I got hit with it even at the airport - people were smiling at me, joking, asking me if I'm visiting relatives... just so warm and human.
So I think you are a free person? Who forced you to live two years in a city you hate? What about staying in your own country? What I dont like in Berlin are people like YOU!
" I almost broke down after embracing family members. My body and my soul had forgotten what it is like to feel the warmth of another human being, warmth that is genuine." Of course you will not find the warmth of your family outside your family. Ridiculous to expect this in a foreign country.
Why is it so hard to communicate here?
I've started speaking in the simplest possible terms and I still often get nowhere. For example, I went to the info desk at the hauptbahnoff and asked the lady if a certain train leaves from platform 11 or 13 and the lady answered... "that train is often late".
Can you see any connection between my question and the answer? I don't. Is this malice? Is this some weird rule that I don't know about? This is just one example, but this happens all the time: I'll contact my HR dept. (which is 100% German) and ask something like "How can I see payroll history?" and they'll reply "Yes, it's possible". What?
Are you asking in English or German? I hate this city at least as much as anyone else on this website, but I can't confirm that I have had the problem described above. I actually have found the opposite to be true: people will answer the exact question you ask even if it is obvious that additional information would be helpful.
I've been in Berlin almost a year now, and refrained from making generalisations about Germans during that whole time. But now I have to just admit it, because in the case of Germany, generalisations are often very accurate because there are so few exceptions to the rule (this is a rule based society & culture, and very little individualism (there are subcultures that may look non-conformist in Berlin but within these subcultures they have the same exact collectivist German mentality). Germans are the most sheep-like collectivist most boring people on earth. They are so herd-like it's both disturbing and maddening at the same time. I understand all humans and cultures are prone to groupthink but in Germany its on another level. So far I've found every single German to fit this sheep stereotype except for a few who have lived abroad for a substantial time. It's like a person can never develop a real personality, their own viewpoints/opinions or values while living in this extreme groupthink country.
For a long time I thought I was the only one to notice this. I thought that something must be wrong with me. But then I found this site and found out that I'm not the only one. Made me feel much better.
Sadly, you are entirely correct. It's almost scary that, during a conversation, you can exchange one German for another and you won't notice any interruption - they're THAT similar and conformist.
I have to say that it's a bit scary.
OP here, yes I've had the same experience. At first I thought it was me and that I was being prejudiced. But after some time and after meeting non-Germans and seeing the differences, it became very clear that this generalisation is almost always true. Yes it is scary how conformist & collectivist Germans are. You really can replace one with another and it makes no difference.
Humor the Germans. Develop your own "honne" and "tatemae". Laugh to yourself when the locals "school" you on the proper way to do things. Feign interest when they explain some irrelevant nugget of information about their culture. Maintain your distance at all times. Consume only foreign television, film and news media. When the locals grate too much, just ignore them. A city that shuns any need for human connections has one up side: you won't have to rely on any human in any situation. Burn bridges. Rinse and repeat.
Is there anything that you can do about these motherfuckers not delivering your package? You stay at home, nobody rings and later you get a notice that you have to pick up your package by yourself. Tired of this shit.
Nope. The worst thing is when they leave a notice saying that the package can be picked up at some shop on DAY, but when you go there on that DAY they don't have the package. So you go there a few times over a few days and it's still not there. Then, like 5 days later, it's there. Why give people misinformation?
Also, I work from home so I'm there to accept any packages all day every day. You can't imagine how often I get "attempted delivery, recipient not at home" messages. Lazy assholes.
I'm self-employed. I work from home and I'm in IT.
Some friends that came over met my neighbors and overheard "... that drug dealer is having more and more suspicious people over, we must notify the police".
Ah, nothing like friendly german neighbors, eh?
I hate this place because the people here are ultraconservative no matter where they stand politically. Unless you conform 100% to their norms, you're the worst thing ever.
Do you think Berlin is a boring City ? The people here do always the same.
Mon-Fri = Work/School
Weekend = Go to clubs/get drunk/take drugs
and repeat....
Why the hell do you have to pay for using the bathroom when they don't even having warm water?
Ich hasse u.a. dass es in Adlershof immer so blöd viel Arbeit gibt und dass der Tegel nicht immer ordentlich hoch ist... Und dass ich gerade nicht bei meiner großen Liebe in Dahlem bin! Argh, zum Ausrasten...!
The fact that it's home to 8 of my Ex-boyfriends and two bad one night stands
The factthat I have loved this place for so long, and it never even complained I wouldn't marry her.