...
I hate it when you try to work at home while your loser unemployed neighbor girl laughs like a horse for hours. She later complains about you to the landlord for being too loud on the weekend. I cannot wait for her parents and government to stop funding her butt so she can move out already.
The funding will never stop - she is of superior german stock, unlike you, lowly foreigner. Additionally, she knows her way around the bureaucratic maze and since she's unemployed, she has all the time in the world to ensure that your taxes go to her benefits and retirement accounts.
that's what so aggravating about Germans. They think that not working for them is alright but if a foreigner is unemployed, he is wasting Germany's precious social welfare. The people here can claim burn out from work and get 3-6 months fully paid vacation.
www.thelocal.de/20170228/fifth-woman-attacked-by-acid-throwing-cyclist-in-berlin
the "diverse" and "tolerant" berlin. This place is complete utter shit. They should have obliterated it after the fall of the wall.
Refugees and non-Europeans in general aren't obsessed with saving the environment, like left-wing Germans are. When your own nation didn't lose two worldwars and didn't want to kill entire races of people you don't feel the need to be an idealist with a fake sense of superiority who only eats vegan stuff and drives to work on his bike.
Had an interesting observation about Berlin today. It's kind of an inverted Las Vegas, if you think about it. Las Vegas is a city forged in the desert (interpret the symbolism of that on your own), named "Sin City", where people go there to openly and boldly commit sin. It is the only place in the USA where prostitution is legal. It's fakeness, emptiness, cheesiness, gaudiness, corruption, decadence, sin... all of this is so in your face, that it's like a cartoon. Berlin is an "inverted' version of Las Vegas... where there is no gaudy tackiness, everything is grey and drab, concrete and glass. Yet there is this same exact emptiness, corruption and culture of decadent sin in Berlin, yet the difference is Berlin likes to moralize... to other countries, the rest of Germany, the rest of Europe, the UK, USA, Russia, Turks, other nationalities, other parts of the world. Constant hand wringing, moralizing, all of these fake political activists, this fake concern for refugees and for the 3rd world... just look at Berlin's homeless and ask yourselves how/why these people think they can solve the 3rd world's problems when they can't even take care of the mentally ill elderly homeless all over Berlin. So Berlin is like Las Vegas in that it’s an empty, shallow city build on decadence, sin, corruption except Las Vegas is honest about it, not hypocritical and you can have fun there and leave- whereas in Berlin, you get sucked into the lies about Berlin’s arts culture (the arts scene here is a joke), “freedom” (just the freedom to be a loser with no common sense or morals, really), it’s quality of life (yes it is still cheaper than other cities but the salaries are also bad), and so on. Go to Berlin if you want a longer European Las Vegas experience where you can escape from yourself and from life, but this ‘escape’ will not last forever, and one day you have to face truth. I see it everyday in Berlin. Washed up people, looking like ghosts more than people, walking around with this glazed over look in their eyes- they had their time “escaping” in Berlin and now they are walking around as zombies. Too afraid to kill themselves either, but having nothing to live for— no joy, no love, none of those things. That is why they have to drink cheap liquor at 9 in the morning on the U-Bahn, scowling, spitting onto the streets.
I live in Prenzlauer Berg and generally stay in this area because I can’t deal with NK, Kreuzberg or Mitte (all revolting to me in different ways), but PB is barely tolerable. So “family friendly”… not. Ask these people toting around babies and kids in bicycles if they’re married, come back 5 years later and ask if they’re still together. Germans nonchalant approach to divorce and breaking up families is disturbing to me- they think it has no consequences yet like 60-70% of Germans I meet have divorced or never married parents, and coincidentally about that same % are messed up. It’s like having kids is this new fashion so people have them and carry them around like dolls. There is no real sense of family values, or community values, or any of those things that children need to truly thrive. This is certainly no place where I would raise a child.
And as a woman I’m going to say nothing is more sad than the “alternative” Berlin women when they get older- made so many bad choices, selecting so many men completely inappropriate to be long-term partners, who knows how many STDs or abortions they’ve had over the years, had pointless open relationships and casual sex, ruining themselves mentally and emotionally. All of this stuff seems fun and consequence free when you are 23, but it catches up to you hard and fast as you enter your 30s. The men are hardly any less pathetic when they age- so many mentally, emotionally dysfunctional passive aggressive men with mommy issues, in their 30s, thinking they are still young when they are approaching middle age, drinking club mate and walking around with this fearful but angry look in their eyes.
In short - Berlin will give you a fear years of decadent fun, escapism, in exchange for a broken mind and broken soul. I think there are some exceptions, maybe some German people who live in the outskirts of Berlin are okay, but in general this is a place to stay away from.
Just my thoughts. And yes I am planning to leave by summer.
.
OP here - I never said 30s was old. I said it's not the same thing as being in your early 20s. After a certain age, like maybe at 33, you should consider growing up/evolving a bit. Which many in Berlin don't do. And only a minority of men actually look great in their 40s, and even if they do, so what? They are still in their 40s and shouldn't be acting 25 years old. It just becomes pathetic.
Peter Thiel once wrote that Europe is a place that harbors the spirit of "indefinite pessimism". He described it as "The world is going to hell in a hand basket, so we might as well as drink and be merry", which he expands by writing "“Tech slowdown,” doesn’t even begin to describe the lack of major innovations coming out of Europe, because few Europeans view the world as a place to be made one’s own. This is reflected in the importance of constant vacation to Europeans, even those of more productive countries "
Having lived in the UK, Spain, and Poland, I found the above statements to be a bit drastic. Yes, life is slower in those place than in the US, people are not as found of progress or technology, but the difference is not that extreme.
Then I came to Berlin. Oh. My. God. It is Thiel's summary distilled into one place, a few million people, which could feel better if humanity crawled under a rock, drank some cheap lager, and died. Living here perfectly illustrates Thiel's points: people here don't think they can affect the world around, so hey, lets just drink, piss, and poop everywhere. Nobody works, if they do - it's minijobs. Everybody blames X for everything bad, where X is refugees, poles, americans, the french, etc.
Oh, and to the obvious local that asks "is it ok to hate Germans?" - no. And everyone that posted here will promptly stop doing so as soon as they leave this place. Except the locals, that will continue hating everyone else. I've heard Germans poop on my country (US) hundreds of times since I came here, all of them apparently being experts on US culture and politics because they spent 2 weeks in NYC a few years ago. The worst thing is when they speak German and just go all out on being rude and even mention how stupid Americans are because they can't understand German and how it is that they poop on America and that stupid American won't even understand. Then I tell them, in German, the I understand everything perfectly and they go white as a chalkboard and their "superior" brains are not able to think of anything to say.
Berlin is the epitome of everything that is wrong with postmodernism. Spend some time here and you'll come to hate people, hate cities and want to live in a cave somewhere. This city will show you the true ugliness of humanity, as ugliness here is not concealed. People in fact indulge and worship the ugliness, thinking it is "cool" or "edgy", to be a psychopath. The banal waste of postmodernism here is touted as "freedom", but it is not freedom- it is just vacuous hollowness.Berlin will show you everything that is wrong with the psyche of Western civilisation. There is a rot in Western civilisation, where people have no soul, and you can see and smell the rot most closely in Berlin.
Good post.The peak of everything that is wrong with postmodernism can be found in berliner universities, in the humanities departments. Some seminars look more like sects, where people quote foucault without having any consistent knowledge of history, and with no desire and curiosity to learn more about it. Dull faces approve each other and any different opinions are being labeled as right, spiessig, conformist. The part of the staff which doesn't encourage this views, is most of the time passive and does not speak up.
Anyone thinking of marrying a sexist, bigoted feminist here, have a look at this first, and remember, in Sweden it's even worse, if that's possible: www.youtube.com/watch
Marriage is indeed prostitution. A man offers a woman access to his ressources and expects sex in return.
A lot of men, however, are stuck in a legally binding friendzone, in a sexless marriage while her wife is free to satisfy her needs with other men.
In general, most modern women have little going on for them apart from their vag*na. And no, your stupid degree doesn't mean a thing to us men. It's virtues such as feminine behaviour, charm, honesty and kindness what men of high caliber want. But wait! There is plenty of desperate men who'll gladly marry an used-up woman and feel proud of it.
The truth is that Berlin is an escapist's paradise, but for people who are actually looking for sincere relationships on all levels, it's hell. I don't think Frankfurt is all that great either, but at least people actually get paid what they were promised there, and not €6-7 per hour.
And give us all a break from the pseudo-extreme-left rhetoric, trying to make yourselves out to be caring people, to overcome the guilt you carry for WW II, you're not fooling anyone. Do you really think you are helping all those African drug dealers that you support, in fact you're sentencing them to a life of doom, because they will never grow up and get real jobs and eventually they will be like all the other retards in Berlin, paranoid, lethargic, lack of ambition, short term memory loss and no real friendships.
And supporting Muslim refugees, give me a f'ing break. Have you ever actually been to a Muslim synagogue and seen the separation of men and women, women covered from head to toe, witnessed female genital mutilation, who then get stoned when they have been raped, chopping off of hands, public whippings and hangings. Well that is what they would love to bring here, Sharia Law, oil and water do not mix, grow the F up.
Berlin is Utopia for childish people who don't really want to deal with their problems. It actually is an ugly city, because it mirrors the inner ugliness of the self-absorbed millennials who waste their time here, never really amounting to anything, just using each other for their own selfish gratification. They pretend to be individual and alternative, but they all look the same, just like sheep, with their ubiquitous, hideous tattoos, many time up to their chin, (morons) that they're going to regret when they find that they limit their careers when they are finally forced to grow up, which will be soon, because all the drugs, drink, late nights and using people for selfish sex will take their toll and then, when they're burnt out, do you really think anyone in Berlin will be there to catch them, to help guide them back from their fall from reality. Dream on. Enjoy it while you can, and we'll see you in RosenthalerPlatz U8, begging for cents to buy a bottle of vinegar. Berlin had it's day in the sun, now it's over, it's a big joke. I have one month left in this has-been, caught in a time-warp "city" and I'm counting the days, before I escape over the invisible wall, that is still there in the minds of the Ossies and their skeptical, paranoid, unfriendly, ungrateful, know-it-allThe truth is that Berlin is an escapist's paradise, but for people who are actually looking for sincere relationships on all levels, it's hell. I don't think Frankfurt is all that great either, but at least people actually get paid what they were promised there, and not €6-7 per hour.
And give us all a break from the pseudo-extreme-left rhetoric, trying to make yourselves out to be caring people, to overcome the guilt you carry for WW II, you're not fooling anyone. Do you really think you are helping all those African drug dealers that you support, in fact you're sentencing them to a life of doom, because they will never grow up and get real jobs and eventually they will be like all the other retards in Berlin, paranoid, lethargic, lack of ambition, short term memory loss and no real friendships.
And supporting Muslim refugees, give me a f'ing break. Have you ever actually been to a Muslim synagogue and seen the separation of men and women, women covered from head to toe, witnessed female genital mutilation, who then get stoned when they have been raped, chopping off of hands, public whippings and hangings. Well that is what they would love to bring here, Sharia Law, oil and water do not mix, grow the F up.
Berlin is Utopia for childish people who don't really want to deal with their problems. It actually is an ugly city, because it mirrors the inner ugliness of the self-absorbed millennials who waste their time here, never really amounting to anything, just using each other for their own selfish gratification. They pretend to be individual and alternative, but they all look the same, just like sheep, with their ubiquitous, hideous tattoos, many time up to their chin, (morons) that they're going to regret when they find that they limit their careers when they are finally forced to grow up, which will be soon, because all the drugs, drink, late nights and using people for selfish sex will take their toll and then, when they're burnt out, do you really think anyone in Berlin will be there to catch them, to help guide them back from their fall from reality. Dream on. Enjoy it while you can, and we'll see you in RosenthalerPlatz U8, begging for cents to buy a bottle of vinegar. Berlin had it's day in the sun, now it's over, it's a big joke. I have one month left in this has-been, caught in a time-warp "city" and I'm counting the days, before I escape over the invisible wall, that is still there in the minds of the Ossies and their skeptical, paranoid, unfriendly, ungrateful, know-it-all demeanours.
Could it be that you Germans think of kindness and genuiness as something that is over the top? Because sometimes I see such over the top expressions that seem as if the person believes they are genuine. That you do not understand the effortlessness, naturalness and automaticness of such things? Things you cannot try to communicate cause you stand on the line then.
I agree with you. I find it extremely entertaining to watch how the locals try to emulate foreign cultures - just look at their advertisements! You have people smiling, people laughing, people joking, bright colors, etc. Then you look around and you see: people scowling, people blowing their noses onto the sidewalk, some drunk guy pissing (10am), everybody wearing gray old dirty cloths. It doesnt' matter if you are in neukoln or prenzalauerberg, it's all the same. It's sad how hard the locals are trying to look like other cultures.
A lot of posts seem to be directed at Germans in general. Is it acceptable to hate Germans? Are there other sites (other than right-wing ones) where I can write about any other nationality that they are ugly, without character and generally a complete failure?
It's not hate, it's just dislike and lack of comprehension/understanding.
Most of us probably come from societies where people treat each other with respect, empathy and manners. None of that is appreciated in Germany. If you
Germans are not a failure in terms of economy, but in terms of human wamrth.
You lack understanding because you're not trying to understand. Societies work differently. You're mistaking smiles and superficial friendliness for human warmth. You're assuming Germans are cold because they appear like that at first sight. But you're wrong and you don't care to understand. You're problem is that you are making a judgement while lacking a basic understanding.
"You're mistaking smiles and superficial friendliness for human warmth"
Are you that much autistic that you can't tell when people are being genuinely friendly? Human warmth always look the same. A real smile will look the same everywhere. Read some stuff by David Buss on basic emotions amongst humans.
If only a few people were complaining about German coldness and lack of emotions, then I'd agree with you. But when people from very different backgrounds (even other Europeans with similar facial features!) come to the same conclusion, then you can't just say my perception is flawed.
Kill yourself, anyways.
I really do enjoy when Germans come to this page. It proves that they just don't get it... there is no arguing, explaining or describing what we mean to them because they are perfectly happy living in this constant state of denial.
Try until you are blue in the face if you like to describe what true human kindness is and they will deny it exists or tell you you are superficial or just stop listening.
I have met exceptions but they are not living in Berlin or they have lived the majority of their lives in other countries.
It's just always the same. Noone can read past the perceived hate and actually make use of this basic human thing ..learning from others who can see things better when they're not in it. It's not so hard to call an own bluff...I mean I am German and I don't get most people in my country. I just don't get it, society or not, it's just too much unrealness.
"You lack understanding because you're not trying to understand. Societies work differently"
"I really do enjoy when Germans come to this page. It proves that they just don't get it"
LOL, how true! I've heard this exact same conversation hundreds of times. It always starts with some auslander questioning how things are done here, then a german pops in and decries "You don't understand, it's different, bla bla bla". Basically, you can't know anything about Germany because you are not a german. And since you cannot learn anything about germany, then you should quickly stop talking about germany. This is "freedom of speech" in germany. If you look through this page, you will see the same arguments made by different berliners, which confirms just another thing: all germans are extreme conformists.
"I don't like Germany, it's too cold"
"You don't understand Germany and temperature auslander, now pay more taxes"
SURE. I'm outta here in a few weeks. I wish everyone else stuck in here gets to escape as well.
Why the heck are Germs pretending being a notary is something fancy?
Berlin is full of far left wing losers who failed in life, running around burning Opel Corsas since they can't even afford one themselves because mommy stopped funding their philosophy studies at Freie Universität. Oh, and everybody who moves into a newly build apartment and spents more than 3,50€ per m² rent gets a brick thrown through his window for gentrifying their neighbourhoods.
What the fornicate did you just say? "Brötchen"? You better get out of my bakery right now or I crush your freaking Wessi skull.
People smoking everywhere
Well, it represses or it can, since smoking does not repress emotions in itself. They cannot handle themselves cause of the society making it almost impossible. And yet it often is just a matter of a few perceptions and surely expressing feelings. If you don't express your feelings, forget it, then you're just full and walk around dumping poop
What bothers me the most is this website. I feel comfortable in Berlin and love it here. I've lived in various European cities, so I know what I'm talking about.
If you don't feel at home here I'm sorry and I'd like to hug you. Of course nothing is perfect, but if you don't like something out yourself in the front line to improve it, instead of whining anonymously.
Peace!
You're obviously an agent for the government sponsored propaganda.
There hasn't been a single person in all of Berlin that loves it here, or even more absurd, feels comfortable here.
I've also been to many European cities, and I can say with confidence that Berlin is the most uninviting place on earth. All the peopleare zombies and have no soul.
Also, Berlin is the most expensive city ever, has the most uninspiring art, a mediocre cityscape, boring architecture, and the food only consists of currywurst. Also, there are no parks anywhere, and you have to wait for the Sbahn for like hours on end, if you happen to find where the stations are hidden. Also, Berlin has no history at all, it just vomited itself out of the deplorable swamp land that it miserably wobbles on. And the people are so lifeless... so mundane... so boring. The nightlife makes me go to sleep.
But, I heard that Frankfurt am Main is the hippest city in all Germany. Everyone loves that place.
He/She is in the denial phase, forced by external circumstances to "love" it and praise it as a utopia. The only thing you can improve is to the get out of that idiot as soon as possible. This city will suck your energy, your money and eventually your soul. Peace!
"If you don't feel at home here I'm sorry and I'd like to hug you. Of course nothing is perfect, but if you don't like something out yourself in the front line to improve it, instead of whining anonymously."
Ah, someone telling complete strangers what to do. So berlinerish.
What is making Berliners suck? Dosenpfand. That's right. Nothing's as fricking refreshing as an ice-cold Coke or a beer straight out of the dang can.
Ok ,,i have deliberated ,,,,for a long time ,,,about posting here ,,,,,,,but the moment arrived ,,,,where i HAVE TO vent !!!
,,There are some great things in the city ,,,,clearly ,,,and everyone reading here ,,,,is also aware of what those things are ,,,,so i wont bother going into it ,,,,,BUT ,,,,,,( where do i start ),,
i think i will adress my thoughts on this place ,,,,from the point of view of spirituality and soul !!!( deep mannnnn!!! )......
as a human being ,,,,we all need some kind of balance ,,,,,like a healthy dinner ,,,has ,,a ,,,starter ,,,main course ,,and a dessert !!! ,,,,,Each of these plates ,,,are only enjoyable ,,,,as part of the whole jigsaw ,,,,one balances out the other ,,,,,the sweet tasting desert ,,,tastes so good ,,,AFTER ,,,,you have had your plate of nourishing meat ,,2 veg ,,,etc,,,,,,a dinner of only desserts ,,,,7 days a week ,,,,would make you very very sick !!! :) ,,,
When you are a child ,,,,your parents ,,,,refuse to let you have your sweets ,,UNTIL you have had your healthy ,,sustenance food first !!! ,,,
And as a child ,,,,when your parents ,,,,refuse you that sweet stuff ,,,
You sulk ,,,cry ,,shout ,,,and get nasty !!!
And simply put ,,,,this is what Berlin is for me ,,,,
One big plate ,,of sticky ,,preservative added ,,artificial flavoured ,,vitamin free ,,false ,,fake,,topping laden ,over sweetened ,,over produced ,,poisoning ,,desert ,,,,,the food you parents wanted to keep you away from ,,,kos ,,,,they understood ,,,,that if you mainlined that stuff ,,,WITHOUT real food to balance ,,,,,you would become ILL!!!,,,
And as boring ,,,as disciplined ,,as controlling ,,as your parents were ,,,as much as it might have felt they were " ruining your party " ,,,,,and it made you run to your bedroom ,,,throw on ur stereo and sulk ,,,,deep down ,,,,,your parents ,,,wanted what was best for you ,,,they wanted you to be WELL ,,,,,they wanted you to be HAPPY ,,,they wanted you to be HEALTHY ,,,,,they wished you the BEST !!!!,,,
It might not have felt like that at the time ,,,and you might have felt a desire to break free from this " opression " ,,,,your parent s " inflicted on you,,,,,,and probably when you are still 18 ,,,19 ,,,20,,,,,you probably still are rebelling against what you feel ,,,was ,,,somone " TAKING YOUR RIGHTS AWAY " !!!! :) ,,,,,, But ,,,,,
Its these people ,,,who had your best interests at heart ,,,,and when one becomes more emotionally mature ,,,and has a bit of life experience ,,,one can truely appreciate how much ,,,NOT being allowed that sticky bun ,,,,,not being allowed to smoke weed all day in your bedroom ,,,,not being allowed to mainline cocaine ,,,,not being allowed to never work ,,,never study ,,never plan ,,,,never clean up after yourself ,,,etc etc ,,,,,all of these things ,,,you FELT like doing ,,,,but these authoritarian figures DENIED you from doing ,,,,,its only with time ,,,,,you start to realise ,,,,,it was a GOOD THING ,,,,that my family didnt raise me like that ,,,,and although rules can be boring ,,,,and restrictive ,,,,some rules are necessary ,,,to be happy !!!
A dog ,,,without some kind of lead ,,,will eventually run after a car ,,,and get knocked down ,,,,
A dog without a lead will eventually eat so much food he vomits ,,
A dog without a lead ,,will eventually start to eat its own tail !!! :)
And the point ,,,of my long, windabout rant ,,,,,is ,,,,for me ,,,this is exactly the darn problem with this town !!!! ,,
It offers all the freedoms that come ,,,,from that " wild weekend " away from Mum and Dad ,,,,or the high school head master ,,,,or choose the authoritarian figure of choice !!! ,,,
Its the ultimate " FORNICATE YOURSELF " city ,,,,for anybody ,,,who wants or needs to revolt against ,,,a feeling of being trapped ,,controlled ,,,limited by wherever they came from !!!! ,,,
And most of us ,,,who are here ,,,probably ,,,are trying to escape something ,,,,or someone ,,or even ourselves !!!
So in the beginning ,,,its paradise !!!
And every " newbie " feels like this ,,,,the allure of freedom,,endless nights getting wasted ,,,loud pumping music ,,,cheap beer ,,drugs on demand ,,sex on tap ,,,,,all seems like paradise no ???
And for a tourist ,,,,probably ,,,,yeahhhhhhhhhh!!! ???
But ,,,
To live here ????
Its leaves a huuuuuge ,,gaping ,,,empty hole ,,,that CANNOT be filled ,,,,
A daily diet of NOTHING ,,,
A limited ,,restricted ,,,daily dose ,,,,of one option from a menu ,,,,with zero choice in terms of people ,,culture ,,music ,,,,and especially ,,,and most importantly ,,of THOUGHT !!! ,,,
There is one rule ,,,,for the entire city ,,,,and it makes no difference where u come from ,,or what colour you are ,,,this particular party ,,,,has one set of rules before you are allowed to enter ,,,and these same rules MUST be followed once you are here !!,,,,,,To attempt to contradict these rules ,,,have another way of thinking ,,,living ,,feeling ,,seeing things ,,,doing things ,,,attitude ,,,points of view ,,any of these things are CRIMES ,,,,and are a full ATTACK on the city and its inhabitants ,,,
To even possibly suggest to anyone here,,,,that maybe ,,,just maybe ,,,Berlin ,,is NOT so ,,ahmmm,,,,,OPENMINDED ,,???? not so ,,,,FREE ??? not necessarily the GREATEST CITY IN THE PLANET ?? ,,,,that there might be perhaps a few FLAWS TO THE CITY ??? ,,,or that you simply arent feeling all that good here ,,,,,ANY of these things ,,,is an attack ,,,on the fundamental BRAINWASHING of the inhabitants of the place ,,,,,and ,,,i must point out ,,im not knocking the Germans on this ,,,,im knocking the whole place ,,,and anyone and everyone who has been hypnotised by the propaganda of the city itself ,,,its like a special badge you must put on once you start living here ,,,u must recite 3 times a day ,,,how amazingly darn cool you are,,,,how you are living in the coolest place in the world ,,,and how grateful you should be for having the chance to be in the most amazingly cool place ,,,with the coolest of cool people ,,,,
Sadly ,,,,,ALL of these things are not true AT ALL !!!
Because ,,,,,,
As i started ,,,,YES it has some good things ,,,,
However ,,,,
Every place has some good things ,,,,
The REAL problem is ,,,,
IT IS UNWILLING TO ACCEPT THE FACT IT HAS BAD THINGS ,,,
ITS RESIDENTS ARE UNWILLING TO ACCEPT ITS BAD THINGS
ITS UNWILLING TO CHANGE OR ADAPT OR COMPROMISE
ITS PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO CHANGE OR ADAPT OR COMPROMISE
ITS UNWILLING TO BE HONEST TO ITSELF ,,
ITS RESIDENTS ARE UNWILLING TO BE HONEST TO THEMSELVES ,,
IT HAS A CHILDS WAY OF ACCEPTING TRUTH ABOUT ITSELF ,,
ITS RESIDENTS HAVE A CHILDS WAY OF ACCEPTING TRUTH ABOUT THEMSELVES
ITS STUCK IN A GROUNDHOG DAY WHERE IT IS HALF ASLEEP REFUSING TO WAKE UP AND FEEL REAL EMOTIONS
And its residents are stuck in the same way ,,,stuck in the emotional maturity of a 14 year old ,,,,yet with the attitude ,,,of ,,,I AM THE SMARTEST ADULT ,,,( which is how any foolish teenager might think ,,,,,yet one would expect more ,,from an actual adult !!!:) ,,,,
This city has broken me down ,,,sooooooooo many times ,,,,and has hurt every single last piece of me ,,,
It has made me question my sanity ,,my past ,,my future ,,,my present ,,,the state of the planet ,,,
Living here has made me feel negative feelings to a point where i physically feel ill and sometimes believe im dying of various ,,endless diseases ,,,!!!!:)
I feel i have bent over backwards to give and adapt and compromise myself ,,in ways i never did in any other place i have been ,,,,like trying to please an abusive lover ,,,,to no avail :(,,,,
I think the city has also damaged me in some ways,,,that i really hope are not forever and that can be " fixed " sometime in the future ,,sumwhere else,,,,,i hope !!!:)
I think the city has left my faith in humanity ,,,and in the future in ruins,,,,,,which i again hope sometime in the future i can fix ,,,sumwhere else !!!:),,,
i have seen ,,heard ,,experienced things here ,,,,that are so incredibly LOW ,,,and i repeat that word LOW ,,,low in thought ,,,behaviour ,,feeling ,,,depth ,,,that it surprised and educated me ,,,that it was even possible ,,,,???
i have witnessed here ,,,human interactions that i believed COULD NOT POSSIBLY exist in this universe ,,that have left me stunned and shocked and saddened ,,,,,:(
And i think i could continue for the next 3 weeks just bleeding out my heart ,,about how this city has affected me ,,,,but ,,,the final " charm" of the place is ,,,,that no matter how incredibly crap you are feeling ,,,,,the people around you are so preoccupied with themselves ,,,OR so out of it mentally ,,,,you feel there is NO POINT ,,,in trying to even relate your feelings or express them to anyone ,,,,because back to the " RULEBOOK " ,,,connecting in any real ,,way ,,,as HUMANS SHOULD ,,,is completely VERBOTEN !!!! :)
I apologise to any one reading this ,,,,because everything i write here ,,is probably stuff i should be explaining to a shrink !!!:)And who knows ,in the future ,,,maybe i will be ,,,,,
But ,,,at the same time ,,,i think anyone who is even on this site ,,,,kinda gets what im talking about ,,,,and probably feels the same way ,,,,,which is really really sad ,,,,:( because life is so precious ,,,and none of us ,,,should be feeling this way ,,,,
I will finish by saying ,,this ,,,everything i am expressing ,,,is my take ,,,on the negative sides of being here ,,,,
but a fair defense ,,,,to everything i rant ,,,,
is ,,,," IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS ??? IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT BAD HERE ??? WOT DA F@@@@@K ARE YOU DOING HERE ??? WHY DONT YOU GET THE F@@K OUT ???"
And i think ,,,thats very fair ,,,,because nobody is MAKING any of us stay here ,,,and if it was my city ,,,,,,i would think its very unfair that all these people who are complaining about it ,,,and criticising it ,,,,are a bunch of D#@Cks,,,,,,,,so on that one ,,,,,yes ,,,i will take full responsibility ,,,,,
That is my fault
Not Berlins :) !!! ,,,
And perhaps ,,,under all the complaining ,,,any of us are doing here ,,,,
Maybe thats the point ,,,,,????
That only this city ,,,
Can rip out our insides SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much ,,,
That we reach for these questions
About ourselves ,,????
Life ??
The future ??
The past ???
Where we are going ???
Who we really are ???
Maybe this is the point ,,,,that in staying here ,,,,although it feels like a constant endless suffering ,,,
It must be giving some answers ,,,to something no ???:) ,,,,or maybe this is me trying to fool myself into finding some justification to wot da hell i am still doing here ??? ?:) i just dont know !!!:)
I just wish everybody here to know ,,,,you are not alone ,,,,and i think like some kind of " Fight Club " ,,,,,we are an underground movement of people ,,,who deeply feel and think stuff ,,,,that the majority ,,,here,,,,seem to be incapable of ,,,,and it truely does help to realise ,,,,,,nahhhhh,,,,,you are not insane ,,,,there are others who feel 100 per cent what you are feeling ,,,,,and there is some hope left :)!!!!
I wish everybody here ,,finds their way ,,,,survives it all somehow ,,,,without picking up too much damage ,,,too much pain ,,,to much madness on the way ,,,,and that whenever that day is ,,,,that we will all be happier with everything happier ,,brighter ,,,lighter ,,,and more shiny ,,,,with more hope and joy !!! :) Because it DOES ,,,,exist !!!,,,,,Somewhere,,,,just perhaps not here !!!:) ,,,,Anyways ,,,,thanks for your patience ,,,,and i wish strength and power and luck to everyone ,,,,and maybe even a thank you to Berlin also ,,,for allowing us be here ,,,and have these thoughts and feelings ???,,,,